


love her today (find one hundred ways)

by breakthesewallsdown, mrsavalance



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Green Arrow and the Canaries (TV), avalance - Fandom, dinahsiren
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon Compliant, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Lance Sisters - Freeform, Mutual Pining, One Shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:07:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 35,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23896561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakthesewallsdown/pseuds/breakthesewallsdown, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsavalance/pseuds/mrsavalance
Summary: a 100 ways to tell someone you love them, as told by Sara Lance, Ava Sharpe, Dinah Drake & Laurel Lance.ora series of avalance and dinahsiren one shots.
Relationships: Dinah Drake & Earth-2 Laurel Lance, Dinah Drake/Earth-2 Laurel Lance, Sara Lance & Ava Sharpe, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 137
Kudos: 330





	1. you stood there in front of me (just close enough to touch)

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys ! 
> 
> this idea started when I found an old draft of a Tumblr post, stating a 100 ways to say I love you to someone. after a quick brainstorm with my friend, Imke, we decided to work together and write a one shot for every single one of them- for either Avalance or Dinahsiren. it took us about a week to figure out all the stories and we are now working on writing them all out. It's a very exciting, yet exhausting process. I feel like my brain is friend and I'm sure Imke feels the same. yet we get so much joy from writing these and working together. it sure helps us through this quarantine!
> 
> these one shots will range from the canon universe, to college AU’s, to coffee shop AU’s, to childhood AU’s, to literally anything. they will all be separate from each other and won’t relate to another in any way.
> 
> the original plan is to post Avalance every wednesday and Dinahsiren every sunday! but please keep in mind that we are only human and it might be possible that it sometimes gets delayed by a day or so. we're trying our best and are very excited about this!
> 
> you can find us on Twitter:  
> Ell (me): @dinahhdrake  
> Imke: @mrsavalance 
> 
> you can follow all our updates on Twitter under the hashtag #LoveHer100Ways ! We will post every new update in a tweet.  
> feel free to leave a comment or a kudo, as those are very encouraging and make us smile a lot! 
> 
> stay home, stay safe, wash your hands and take care of yourself and your loved ones. <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do you want me to say?” Sara asks, voice sharp as she spins around to turn on Ava, “I’m sorry I hit you? Because I’m not. That’s part of the game.”
> 
> Ava reminds herself to take a deep breath, count to three before replying, “It didn’t really feel like a game back there.”
> 
> _or_
> 
> avalance being martial arts pro's and sara has some feelings she doesn't know how to deal with during one of their sparring sessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> our first chapter! 
> 
> thank you for joining us on this whirlwind. we hope you all realized you signed up for 101 fics full of fluff, angst, mutual pining, more angst, love confessions, first kisses and even more fluff. welcome aboard, crew! 
> 
> enjoy the first one. <3
> 
> • title from Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift.

**"Sit down. I'll get it."** \- _Avalance_

There’s something different about Sara’s punches today. Her moves seem less calculated, somehow. There seems to be more force behind them, more anger, less technique. It’s very out of character and Ava is not sure what to think of it. She has never seen Sara like this- so uncoordinated and maybe even a little... distracted? It’s not that she doesn’t know what she’s doing, definitely not, Sara’s way too talented for that, but something about her is off and it’s bothering Ava to no end. Though she won’t admit that out loud. Especially not to Sara. 

So, she pretends her hardest to not let Sara show that it’s bothering her, and that maybe Sara’s behaviour has thrown her off her game a little too. She dodges Sara’s punches like always, taking the occasional foot to the stomach.

It’s hard for Ava to spar against Sara like this. Normally she’s got no trouble steering clear of Sara’s hits. In normal circumstances, they’re both on top of their game and it’s almost like a dance. But today Sara is throwing punch after punch after punch and it’s tiring Ava out. Her breath is heavier than usual, sweat dripping down her temples as her eyes lock on Sara’s. Sara is not doing much better, Ava can tell. 

She’s tired. They’ve been going at it for over an hour, Sara’s punches never lessening in strength. Her stare harsh as she looks at Ava, as if she’s the person Sara is shooting daggers at. As if she’s angry _at her_. It confuses her. 

When Sara takes a step closer, nearly in Ava’s personal space, too close for martial arts, Ava’s defense weakens. She wasn’t expecting Sara to be this close to her. But where Ava’s hesitating, Sara definitely is not. Fists are coming at her- her arms, her chest, her stomach, her face. Ava tries her best to fight back, to defend herself, but her arms are burning and she’s sweating in places she shouldn’t be sweating. Her eyes lock on Sara’s once more, seeing the anger and, perhaps, a flash of pain in her eyes. Sara’s never looked at her like that. So in a second, Ava makes a decision.

It’s then that Sara’s fist collides with her face, with more force behind it than normal, and Ava can’t take it anymore.

“What’s wrong with you?” Ava all but yells in frustration, her hand coming up to rub her jaw where Sara had hit her.

Sara has grown awfully quiet, her bravado from the fight seeping out of her, and is avoiding any and all eye contact with Ava. She’s staring at the floor, head down, absentmindedly rubbing her wrist. If Ava wasn’t mad before, she is absolutely fuming now.

“Lance, I’m talking to you!”

Sara stays quiet, and Ava should have known she would not get anything out of the smaller blonde, not when she’s like this. Ava thinks about walking out on her, not wanting to deal with her childish behaviour for just a second longer, when her eye catches on to the way Sara’s clinging to her own wrist, softly cursing under her breath. Shit, of course she got hurt.

“You okay?”

“Fine,” It’s more of a grunt than anything else, but at least it’s something. 

She’s still not looking at Ava, and it irks her, but when Sara lets out a whimper she almost forgets about her anger. Sara turns away from her, her one hand still wrapped around her wrist, still not having said a word. Ava looks at her, frowning, before following her.

“Let me have a look?”

“It’s fine, Sharpe.” Sara grunts, because of course she’d claim to be fine, even though Ava can clearly tell she is not. Sara takes a swig from her water bottle, before she speaks again. “Just give me a second and I’ll be good to go again.”

“Sara. Let me see your wrist, please.”

“I told you it’s _fine_ , Ava.” 

“Except it’s clearly not. What’s gotten into you today? Your punches are never this reckless.”

Sara rolls her eyes as she throws Ava a glance over her shoulder, putting her water bottle back down. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

“Why won’t you talk to me?” Ava asks, her shoulders sagging just a bit.

“What do you want me to say?” Sara asks, voice sharp as she spins around to turn on Ava, “I’m sorry I hit you? Because I’m not. That’s part of the game.”

Ava reminds herself to take a deep breath, count to three before replying, “It didn’t really feel like a game back there.”

Sara’s eyes widen, just enough for Ava to notice, before Sara schools her expression back into one of indifference. She shrugs, looking away from Ava’s eyes for a second. 

“Let’s take a break, so you can put some ice on that wrist of yours.” Ava says, realizing she won’t get much more out of Sara at this point.

“I don’t need a break. I don’t need _ice_.” Sara says, eyes angry as she glances at Ava again, “I need to punch something.”

“Well, I need a break. So you can either go punch a wall or you can come with me, put some ice on that wrist and then maybe we can go another round later.”

Sara seems to be thinking it over for a moment. As if she’s actually considering to go and punch a wall instead. Ava wouldn’t be surprised, really. Sara’s stubborn enough. She’s definitely proud enough. But then Ava raises her eyebrow at her and Sara breaks.

“Fine.” She grunts, following Ava towards the locker room in defeat.

They sit down on one of the benches for a while, the silence hanging heavy around them. Both women trying to catch their breath, trying to process what just happened. To Ava’s surprise it’s Sara who eventually breaks their silence. 

“Okay, so maybe it does hurt a little bit. Like… A tiny bit.”

“Shocker.” Ava says sarcastically.

“Jerk.”

“Excuse me, weren’t you the one punching _me_ in the face?”

It’s the first time that Ava notices Sara looking a little guilty and almost apologetic since the incident. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve had worse. I’ll get you some ice.”

Sara moves to stop Ava, telling her it’s okay, starting to get up off the bench, but the latter puts her hand over Sara’s injured wrist and glares at her. Sara pulls back as if she’s been burned.

“Sit down. I’ll get it.”

“I am perfectly capable of getting my own ice.” Sara retorts, secretly liking the amount of care Ava is showing her.

Ava smiles at her. It’s soft and gentle and not at all like the punches they were throwing each other just a few minutes ago. “I know.”

She gets up after that, leaving Sara by herself as she goes to get some ice and a towel to wrap it in. Her mind wanders off towards the other woman. Something’s bothering her and Ava doesn’t know what it is, but she’s surprised to find that she wants to know. She wants to know what’s on Sara’s mind so maybe she can help her. 

Ava always knew they had a special bond, that they had a strange kind of friendship. But this is not something she was expecting. It scares her a little, to know that someone else has this much power over her. Ava has never been this thrown off sparring with someone before. But there was something about the look in Sara’s eye that tore down Ava’s walls. 

When she gets back to where Sara’s seated, she finds the other woman staring at her wrist, her thumb rubbing soft circles where her skin is slowly turning blue. Ava clears her throat as she gets closer, as to not startle Sara too much, making her look up. Her fingers still on her wrist, eyes trained on Ava. 

“Thank you.”

Ava shrugs lamely, “You’re welcome.” 

Sara reaches out for the ice pack when Ava’s close enough, but Ava shakes her head. She wraps it in the towel before sitting down next to Sara, close enough for their knees to touch. Ava softly grabs Sara’s arm, wrapping the ice pack around her wrist. Sara hisses, her eyes closing on impact. 

“Serves you right, Lance.”

Sara chuckles, lips turning up at the corners of her mouth. “I know.”

They sit in silence again, Ava’s one hand securely holding the ice around Sara’s wrist while her other hand is holding onto Sara’s. Ava tells herself it’s just to make sure that Sara doesn’t move her arm away, but deep down she knows it’s more than that. Sara doesn’t seem to mind, even twists her arm a bit so their palms can rest together. Ava just stares at their hands. 

“I’m sorry I punched you.”

“You already apologized, Sara. It’s okay.”

Sara groans, “It’s not okay. I was totally off my game today. Not professional at all.”

“Maybe not,” Ava agrees, “but we all have off days.”

“I don’t.”

Ava grins, Sara’s confidence making her smile, “Of course you don’t.”

Sara tilts her head to look at her, and Ava can almost count the freckles on her nose and cheeks, before she talks. “I don’t. I just had stuff on my mind and I tried to forget about it, but it’s not as easy as I’d hoped.”

Ava’s not sure what to say to that, so she opts to not say anything. Instead she focuses back on Sara’s wrist and applies just enough pressure to make Sara wince from the cold. Sara grits her teeth and Ava can tell there’s something she wants to say. She wonders what it is. 

They sit there for so long that Ava wonders if it’s gone dark outside. The hand that was resting on Sara’s is now absentmindedly tracing figures on Sara’s palm, her skin soft under Ava’s. She’s pretty sure she could remove the ice from Sara’s wrist, that it’s been on there for long enough, but she finds herself not wanting to move. She wants to stay here, next to Sara, for as long as possible. 

“How’s your wrist?”

“Cold.”

Ava rolls her eyes, scolding herself for not expecting this sort of answer. “No shit.”

Sara leans into her, laughing softly, bumping their shoulders together, “Sorry. It’s better, I think. Thank you.”

Ava, reluctantly, unwraps the towel from around Sara’s wrist, puts it next to her on the bench. “Anytime, Sara.”

Sara looks at her, head tilted downwards just enough, a small smile on her face. “I’m serious. Thank you, Ava. You don’t owe me anything, especially after earlier.”

“Stop it, Sara.” Ava says sternly, yet there’s a lilt to her voice that softens it. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I’m here if you want to talk.”

“Gee, Sharpe. Didn’t know you cared.”

And Sara’s teasing, that much is clear, but Ava can also make out some vulnerability in Sara’s voice and it makes goosebumps appear on her skin. It’s then that Ava becomes aware of the fact that her hand is still on top of Sara’s. Neither of them making a move to pull away. 

“I thought it was pretty obvious that I do.” Ava mumbles, her pointer finger now running up and down Sara’s thumb. 

Sara’s thumb moves slightly as Ava touches it, as if she’s chasing the feeling. As if she likes it. As if she’s been craving it. Ava realizes how different this all is. Sitting together, softly stroking Sara’s hand. The same hand that punched her earlier. It’s only when Ava reminds herself of that happening, that she realizes the left side of her face is throbbing just slightly. Grabbing the ice pack again, she holds it to her jaw. 

Sara looks at her, eyes worried, “Shit. I didn’t even ask about your face.”

Ava can’t help but laugh at Sara’s expression. “My face is fine, thank you. Just hurts a little.”

“I’d sure hope so. I throw great punches.”

“That you do.” Ava says, smiling at Sara as she presses it against where it hurts most. 

Sara’s hand reaches for the towel, slowly covering Ava’s own. “Let me?”

And Ava would be a fool to say no. She lets her hand drop from her face, the ice pack secured by Sara’s hand. Her eyes never leaving Sara’s. Sara, who looks so small as she looks back at Ava. There’s the same flash of pain in her eyes as she looks at Ava, and it worries her. 

“Do you- Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?” Ava asks, searching Sara’s face for any kind of sign that she’s about to get angry with her again. 

“I wouldn’t even know where to start.” Sara sighs, adjusting her hold on the ice pack.

Ava smiles at her encouragingly, before she teases, “The beginning would probably work best.” 

Sara rolls her eyes, not being able to help the smile tugging at her lips, “Do you want me to talk or not?”

“I do, I’m sorry.”

Sara takes a deep breath and when she exhales, Ava can feel her breath on her face. It’s warm and a little rapid, perhaps a bit shaky. Suddenly Ava becomes aware of just how close they’re sitting together, of how Sara’s hands are holding her face, making sure the ice stays in place to keep her cheek from bruising. Sara’s eyes are trained on Ava’s lips, making Ava shiver. Ava has hopes of where this might go, but she’s never sure what to expect of Sara. So she holds her breath.

“I just- I think about kissing you a lot.”

And Ava exhales, relaxing, although her heart does anything but, “So you thought punching me was the best way to go about it?”

“I- No?” Sara hesitates, not sure what to think of Ava’s reaction, “I also didn’t plan on leading with that.” 

“So what did you want to lead with?”

Sara drops her hands from Ava’s face, Ava’s cheek freezing cold, and averts her gaze from Ava’s, “I’m not sure.”

She looks annoyed, the hand not holding the ice pack balled into a fist. Ava reaches out to hold it. She knows talking about feelings is hard, especially for Sara. But she feels like this is a conversation they need to have. Ava feels like it’s long overdue.

“Sara?” Ava asks, squeezing her hand, “Can you look at me?”

“I just- I have all these feelings and I don’t know how to deal with them so my first instinct is to protect myself and do what I do best. Throw punches.” 

“Well, no one throws a right hook like you do, that’s for sure.” Ava says, but she regrets the words as soon as they leave her mouth.

“I said I was sorry.”

“I know, Sara. I was just trying to lighten the mood. I’m sorry. I told you,” Ava says gently, hand coming up to tilt Sara’s face up, so she can look at her. “It’s okay.” 

“So why don’t I feel like it’s okay?” 

Ava hesitates, “I don’t know. Why do you?”

Sara groans and turns her face, making Ava’s hand fall away from her cheek. “Because I’m a dumbass, that’s why. If I’d just talked to you beforehand we could’ve avoided all this.” 

“Communication never really was our strong suit.” Ava agrees, frowning a little.

At least it makes Sara smile. “No, I guess not.”

“We’ve always been better with actions, anyway, instead of words.” Ava says.

“So what are you saying?” Sara looks at her hopefully, eyes curious.

“I think you can figure it out.” Ava says, voice lowering until it’s barely a whisper, allowing herself to glance at Sara’s lips. 

Sara opens her mouth to say something, but just ends up closing it again. Ava just looks at her, waits for Sara to make the first move. It’s only then hitting Ava that Sara admitted to wanting to kiss her. It makes her incredibly nervous. Ava leans forward slightly, their foreheads almost touching. She can feel Sara tensing in front of her. It’s quiet in the room, the only sounds being their breathing. Ava thinks, if you listen close enough, you could also hear her heart beating loudly in her chest. 

She startles when Sara’s hand covers her own, squeezing it softly. The soft touch is only making Ava crave more. She wants Sara closer, yet here they are just staring at each other and Ava feels like she’s about to lose it. 

“Sara,” she mumbles, refusing to back away from Sara’s face. She almost winces at how desperate she sounds.

“Shh,” Sara replies, closing her eyes as she leans their foreheads together, their noses touching, “There’s no rush.” 

Ava swallows visibly as Sara’s hands cup her face. The touch is cold, still numbing from the ice, yet it feels like Ava’s skin is on fire. Like a million tiny sparks are tickling her face. Ava ends up closing her eyes at the touch, giving in to Sara- as she always does. 

And she thinks she’d wait for hours, if Sara asked. But adrenaline is coursing through Ava’s veins, her cheeks burning where Sara’s fingers are touching her, so she leans in. She might combust if she doesn’t. Sara meets her halfway, their lips touching briefly, softly, for just a second. As if they’re both too scared. As if they could break each other. 

There’s a whimper, but Ava doesn’t give herself the time to figure out if it was hers or Sara’s. She tugs Sara closer by the nape of her neck and kisses her again, firmer this time. Making it last. She can feel Sara melt into her, her grip on Ava’s face softening, her hands dropping to her neck. 

This time it’s Sara who pulls back, breathing heavily against Ava, eyes still closed. 

“I definitely prefer this over a punch to the face.” Ava grins, thumb stroking Sara’s cheek. 

“Jerk.”

Sara kisses her again then- it’s soft and gentle, nothing like the aggressive punches she had been throwing earlier, and it makes Ava weak in the knees. She feels like she could kiss Sara for hours. For days. Forever. Her heart jumps at the thought. After pressing another kiss to Sara’s lips, Ava pulls back fully to look at her. 

“What do you say about dinner? We could order takeaway?” Ava suggests.

Sara’s face lights up and she nods before she can think about doing anything else. “Yes. My place?” 

“Okay,” Ava agrees, smiling cheekily, “Also, it’s your treat. It’s what I deserve after all.” 

“You’re impossible.”

Ava grins and winks at her, “But you like me.”

“Yeah, I’m reconsidering if I actually do.” Sara teases back.

“Shut up, Lance. Come on, dinner’s waiting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment or kudo if you liked it, because they're super cute and they encourage us to keep writing (: 
> 
> find us on twitter if you want;  
> Imke (@mrsavalance)  
> Ell (@dinahhdrake)  
> or on the tag #LoveHer100Ways ! 
> 
> see you in a few days. stay home and stay safe, kids! <3


	2. light in your eyes (I can't even speak)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She’s just so… _pretty_. Look at her.”
> 
> “I _am_ looking at her. And she is looking at _you_. Like. Constantly. All the time.” Felicity mutters.
> 
> _or_
> 
> the dinahsiren coffee shop / college au you didn't know you needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! it's SUNDAY! aka Dinahsiren day! 
> 
> we're so excited about this chapter and to just be able to give you the fluff we all need. we are a sucker for coffee shop AU's ourselves, so of course we hope you like it! we also want to thank everybody for the lovely responses on the first chapter and the whole fic idea in general. It's so nice to get the support that we do and we're happy we can give you guys some joy during this quarantine. just want to assure you that we do read all your comments and if we forget to reply it's not on purpose! 
> 
> also, say hi to Felicity! 
> 
> sending love and enjoy reading <3
> 
> • title from Lightweight by Demi Lovato

**"It's two sugars, right?"** \- _Dinahsiren_

“Laurel, I love my coffee as much as the next person, you know I do, but I was literally here this morning. Is this really necessary?” Felicity complains, as Laurel drags her in the direction of the little coffee shop she has come to love.

“Was she there?” Laurel asks hopefully, but before Felicity has a chance to reply, she answers her own question. ‘It’s Thursday, of course she was there.”

Okay, so maybe Laurel knows the cute barista’s schedule. She wasn’t necessarily a regular at the little coffee shop, not yet at least, but she had stopped by plenty of times in the past weeks to notice when the girl, Dinah, according to the name tag she wore, was there.

Laurel had only discovered the little coffee shop about six weeks ago when Felicity had dragged her along after class. Laurel had complained at first, seeing as it was a bit further from campus than the Starbucks she used to frequent, but Felicity had promised her that the coffee was way better. In the end Laurel had found that she didn’t mind not having to wait 15 minutes just to be able to place her order. It might have helped that the cute brunette who had served them had the most beautiful smile Laurel had ever seen.

“Oh, you’ve got it bad don’t you?” Felicity teases, grinning widely at her. 

“I- I do _not_.” Laurel tries to sound convincing, even manages to frown, but if Felicity’s expression is anything to go by she clearly failed to prove her point.

“Sure you don’t.”

“Shut up, Smoak. And don’t embarrass me. Please.” Laurel says as she pushes the door towards the shop open, the bell ringing above their heads as they walk inside. 

There she is, beautiful as ever, completely in her element taking the order from the person in front of them. Laurel gets so lost in her smile, she doesn’t register what Felicity says next. Only being shaken out of her thoughts by an elbow poking her stomach.

“Huh, what? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” Laurel apologizes.

“Clearly.” Felicity says with an eye roll. “I said- never mind, it’s our turn. Come on.”

Laurel mentally prepares herself to say the words she’s meant to say. _Dark, please. Two sugars. No cream_. It’s not that hard, it’s actually very simple. She’s done it before. Plenty of times, really. 

Except today Dinah looks exceptionally pretty. Her hair’s tied up in a bun, instead of her usual ponytail, a few strands falling loosely down her face, tickling her neck. Her apron is tied around her waist, as usual, a few milk and coffee stains on it. Also as usual. She’s busy handing the last customer their coffee, but when she turns to Laurel her smile seems to widen even more. Laurel’s breath hitches in her throat. God, she’s beautiful. 

“Hi.” Dinah says, voice deep, yet soothing. 

Laurel clears her throat, feeling the blush rising on her cheeks, “Hey. Hi.” 

“You said that already.” Dinah says, one corner of her mouth tugged up dangerously, her smile now bordering on a smirk.

“Right.” Laurel replies, scolding herself for being such a dumbass.

She feels, more than hears, Felicity snicker behind her and Laurel just wishes the floor would swallow her whole. Dinah stares at her, obviously waiting for her order, or at least that’s what Laurel thinks. She’s proven wrong just as she’s about to speak. Dinah turns towards the cups, grabs the biggest one there is and her sharpie, her eyes never leaving Laurel’s.

“It’s two sugars, right?” Dinah asks, glancing at Laurel, “No cream? Dark?”

And if Laurel thought she was finally prepared to say some actual words, she realizes she isn’t. Not even in the slightest. Felicity pokes her side, encouraging her to say something - anything - but all Laurel can do is nod. Dinah smiles at her before turning away. It gives Laurel a moment to gather herself. She turns towards Felicity, who’s glaring at her over the edge of her glasses. 

“I can’t believe you. You drag me all the way here in the middle of the day, while I’ve already been here earlier, just so you can talk to her and then you do _this_?” She says under her breath, glancing over Laurel’s shoulder to where Dinah is standing. 

Laurel groans. “I know. I’m the worst.” 

“Useless, that’s what you are. At least when it comes to her.”

Felicity grabs Laurel by the shoulders and spins her back around, muttering something about womaning up and just asking Dinah out. Laurel feels the blood drain from her cheeks at the thought of making a move on the other girl.

Dinah turns back towards her, cup in hand, throwing her a little wink. “It’s Laurel, right?” 

Laurel’s eyes widen. “You remembered my name, too?”

It’s the first full sentence she’s said ever since she laid eyes on Dinah. It’s also the most stupid thing she’s ever said, but that shouldn’t surprise anyone. There’s a playful glint in Dinah’s eyes as she looks back at Laurel. Laurel feels like scratching the skin off her cheeks- they’re on fire. 

“Beautiful name matching a pretty face like that. That's kinda hard to forget, sugar.” Dinah teases with another wink.

And although it completely stuns Laurel for a second, she thankfully recovers quickly. More quickly than she thought she could. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

Her voice doesn’t sound as confident as she’d like and she didn’t say it as loud as she’d wanted, but Laurel figures it’s better than nothing. Of course that is the moment Felicity decides to open her mouth. 

“She’s never said that to me, and I _do_ come here all the time.”

The blush on Laurel’s cheeks only intensifies as she averts her gaze from Dinah’s, who’s just grinning widely at her. Felicity belly laughs next to her, patting Laurel on the shoulder. When Laurel looks back up, her eyes seek out Dinah almost on instinct. She’s glad to find Dinah still looking back at her.

“What can I say?” Dinah says, “I might have my favorites.” 

“And that is totally valid. But when you two are done flirting, I’d like a triple shot espresso,” Felicity starts, making Laurel turn her head, shooting daggers at her with her eyes, as if to say, _what part of “do not embarrass me” did you not understand_? 

Felicity chooses to ignore her, feigning innocence. It doesn’t really surprise Laurel. That’s just who Felicity is as a person. “Please. Name’s Felicity, by the way. Thank you.”

“Noted.” Dinah smiles at the blonde, suddenly seeming a bit nervous, as if Felicity’s remark affected her in a way. It makes Laurel’s insides tingle. “Anything else I can help you girls with today?”

Laurel shakes her head, still smiling. Felicity is quiet behind her, which is a total 180 from just a minute ago. Dinah asks if they’d prefer to pay by card or cash, but Felicity is quick to hand Dinah her credit card. Dinah quickly takes care of the payment, handing Felicity back her card, glancing at Laurel as she does so. Laurel thinks she’s never been as quiet as she has been this whole time. She hates it.

“Your drinks will be right up, ladies.”

Felicity thanks her, Laurel somehow still not having found her voice. They move on to the end of the counter, Laurel never once taking her eyes off Dinah. She can vaguely hear Felicity talking to her, but Laurel’s so zoned out that she doesn’t register a word she is saying. She’ll ask about it later. Dinah seems to be sensing Laurel’s eyes on her, because ever so often she looks up to meet her gaze. And then she smiles. That beautiful, comforting smile that always makes Laurel’s heart flutter. That same teasing glint in her eyes. 

“What’s up with you today?” Felicity asks, eyebrows furrowed. “You haven’t listened to a word I said ever since we walked in here. Stop staring at her like a lovestruck idiot.” 

“Could you be any louder?” Laurel snaps, more annoyed at the fact that Felicity pulled her thoughts away from Dinah than anything else.

“I could, but I don’t think you’d want me to. Seriously, Laur, what’s gotten into you?” Felicity says, and Laurel is thankful she toned her voice down.

“She’s just so… _pretty_. Look at her.”

“I _am_ looking at her. And she is looking at _you_. Like. Constantly. All the time.” Felicity mutters, “I shouldn’t be surprised that you haven’t noticed, though. You’re so oblivious.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, _oh_. So, what are you gonna do about it?” Felicity whispers.

“What do you mean what am I gonna do about it?” Laurel bites back.

“You tell me. You drag me all the way to this coffee shop for a cute girl and you don’t have a game plan?” Felicity sounds almost shocked. “Who even are you at this point?”

And Laurel is stunned, because Felicity is right. This isn’t like her at all. She always has an answer ready. She’s always the first to throw a sarcastic remark at someone. At clubs she’s first in line to flirt with pretty girls. She’s always full of confidence. There’s just something about Dinah that makes her forget how to form words, or coherent thoughts for that matter. Or how to function as a human being.

She’s pulled out of her head, and saved from having to respond to Felicity, by Dinah yelling out their orders. She picks up her drink, and thanks Dinah with a silent smile. Their hands brush together briefly as Dinah hands Laurel her coffee, making a shiver run down Laurel’s spine. She has trouble maintaining eye contact after that, feeling like Dinah can see right through her.

“Oh come on, _Felice_? Really?” Laurel hears Felicity grunt behind her.

Laurel can’t help but let out a chuckle, the tension in her shoulders slightly lessening. And when she notices the way Dinah beams at her, her eyes lighting up as Felicity grows just a little more frustrated behind her, Laurel wonders if she might have done that on purpose. It’s only when Dinah sends her another small wink that Laurel’s almost positive she did.

“I’ll see you around?” Dinah asks quietly, no longer seeming as brave as she did before. 

Laurel finds herself nodding. “Sure. I’ll be back.”

“Good. I’m glad. See you, Laurel.”

“Bye, Dinah.” Laurel says, biting her lip as they smile at each other. 

When Dinah goes to help the next customer, Laurel spins on her heel in a flash, almost bumping into Felicity. She’s looking at Laurel as if she’s crazy, and Laurel feels like she might be right. Laurel leads Felicity back outside, ignoring the smaller woman’s protests.

“What the hell? Why didn’t you ask her out? Laurel? _Laurel_!” Felicity stops walking as they’re just out the door. “Are you kidding? Didn’t you _see_ the way she smiled at you?”

“I did,” 

“And you didn’t do anything? Didn’t _say_ anything?” 

Laurel groans, runs the hand that’s not holding her cup of coffee over her face. She’s such a dumbass. Felicity is right. There’s something about the way Dinah was smiling at her, was looking at her. Laurel can’t believe she just stood there and smiled like a lovestruck teenager. She’s better than this. She knows how to ask a pretty girl out. 

She nods to herself, all of a sudden very determined. Felicity’s grin widens and she excitedly squeals. Laurel glares at her. 

“Stay here.” Is all Laurel says before storming back into the coffee shop. 

Dinah is currently serving another customer, so it gives Laurel enough time to figure out what she’s going to say. She walks towards the counter, where she picked up her coffee just a minute ago, and leans against it, putting her coffee down. Her hand nervously tapping an irregular beat on the wood. Dinah notices her in a second, her smile widening once more. 

“Forgot something?” She asks as she finishes up the coffee. 

Laurel nods. “I did, actually.” 

“I’ll be with you in a minute.” Dinah tells her, before turning back towards the register and finishing up. Laurel can’t take her eyes off her for a second. 

Then she calls out towards her colleague that she’s taking five, a boy who Laurel has never really paid any attention to. She hadn’t even seen him earlier. Dinah walks closer to her, walking from behind the counter to where Laurel’s standing, leaning against the wood next to her so they’re closer together. Her smile is the same as before, but there’s a nervous twitch at the edge of it. Laurel quickly guides her eyes back up, away from the other girl’s lips. 

“What is it?” 

Laurel takes a breath, fiddling with her hands. “I, uh, I- I was just wondering, uh,” she stops there, rolls her eyes to herself. “I was just thinking, maybe we could-” 

And this isn’t going like she planned. She had this whole thing in her mind that she wanted to say, sweep Dinah off her feet for once, but all she manages to do is stutter something that’s supposed to be a sentence. Meanwhile Dinah is looking at her, probably confused and wondering why she’s wasting any time on Laurel. 

But then there’s a hand on Laurel’s, putting a stop to her nervous twitching, and her train of thoughts pauses right then and there. 

“I get off at seven,” Dinah says softly, her free hand going for Laurel’s cup on the counter and turning it around slightly, the other side now facing Laurel. “Pick me up?” 

And. _Oh_. Laurel looks at the number scribbled below her name, followed by a little heart. She can’t help but laugh, Dinah joining in almost immediately. Laurel thinks it’s the most beautiful sound she’s ever heard. She is now very aware of Dinah’s hand resting on hers, the touch almost too much to bear. Laurel looks back up at Dinah when she squeezes her hand, tearing her eyes away from the cup. 

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up.” Laurel says, not being able to stop the smile from spreading on her face. She feels like her face might snap in half from smiling this much. 

They stay like that for a moment, just smiling at one another. Laurel takes in everything she can. Dinah’s smile, the dried milk on her jaw, the playful glint in her eyes. Her hand feels soft on Laurel’s and she thinks she might want to hold it properly, their fingers intertwined. Maybe tonight. If Dinah will let her. 

After what feels like hours, but in reality was only a few seconds, Dinah breaks the silence by clearing her throat. “I should probably get back to work. And you should probably get back to your friend.” 

“Right. Yes. Of course.” Laurel says nodding, kind of completely having forgotten about Felicity waiting for her outside. 

“Tell Felicity I said hi.” 

“So you _do_ know her name?” Laurel smirks, raising an eyebrow. She finally feels a bit more confident. 

“It’s just more fun if she thinks I don’t.” Dinah teases. “Plus, you really are my favorite. Have a nice afternoon, Laurel. I’ll see you tonight.”” 

The smile on Dinah’s face makes Laurel’s heart melt. It’s softer than before, but it still has the same effect on her. Laurel realizes she would really like to kiss that smile. 

“Yeah. See you tonight.” Laurel can’t help but return the smile, a little nervous. 

Dinah throws Laurel one more wink, smile never leaving her face, and just like that disappears back behind the counter. Laurel’s eyes follow her, and they share one more look before Laurel grabs her coffee, turns around and makes her way out of the coffee shop. Her hand still tingles from where Dinah touched it earlier. 

“So, how did it go?” Felicity asks curiously, as soon as Laurel steps foot outside. The grin on her face so wide Laurel thinks it’s almost scary. 

“I’m picking her up at seven.” Laurel admits, a blush finding its way on her cheek. 

“That’s more like it, Lance! I’m so glad you finally pulled your head out of your ass and asked her out.” 

And Laurel doesn’t have it in her to correct Felicity, not wanting her to be any less proud. So she looks down at the lukewarm coffee cup in her hand and finds herself smiling at the digits and little heart drawn under her name. And maybe things didn’t go exactly as she had planned, but perhaps they went even better than she could’ve ever hoped they would. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TADA. 
> 
> now that you got the fluff, be prepared for chapter 3 next wednesday! if you follow us on twitter (@mrsavalance, @dinahhdrake) you'll have noticed that the next Avalance one isn't as fluffy as this one! it was really challenging for us to write, but it is one of the best things we've managed to come up with. we put a lot of love and effort in it, so we genuinely hope you guys are as excited about it as we are! 
> 
> find us on twitter if you want to yell at us.  
> Imke (@mrsavalance)  
> Ell (@dinahhdrake)  
> or on the tag #LoveHer100Ways !
> 
> see you in a few days. stay home. stay safe. take care of yourself and your loved ones. <3


	3. and I don't think that I have the strength (to let you go)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You were so set on this. On a divorce,” she can barely say the word, “who am I to stop you from having what you want?”
> 
> “My _wife_ , Sara.” Ava says, finally fully letting her walls fall down. “You’re my wife.” 
> 
> “Am or was?” 
> 
> _or_
> 
> the one where they may or may not get divorced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY WEDNESDAY FOLKS! 
> 
> less happy according to the chapter, but happy either way. we've been looking forward to this one ever since we started writing. it's safe to say we are proud of this chapter and it's one of the best things we have ever written. it's a bit heavy, but we hope you like it nonetheless. 
> 
> disclaimer: we know nothing about how divorces work, so if anything is inaccurate please ignore for the sake of the story. 
> 
> happy reading <3 
> 
> • title from maybe by Secondhand Serenade.

**"Sorry I'm late."** \- _Avalance_

Sara sits down on the bench, _their_ bench, the one overlooking the water, close enough to hear the city, but far enough from prying eyes. Her fingers trace over the _S+A_ that she had carved into this very bench, all those years ago. Ava had told her off for damaging public property, but her smile had betrayed her even then. 

Ava’s smile. God, how she misses seeing those beautiful lips curl up whenever she said something dumb or funny. It feels like forever since she has last seen or heard Ava laugh. Perhaps that should have been the first sign that things between them weren’t as great as they once were. They weren’t awful, far from it, but they weren’t what they used to be. And Sara hates herself for letting it get this out of hand.

So after two months, she had dragged herself back here. Back to their spot. To feel closer to Ava, to feel like things hadn’t changed and everything between them was still okay. She wasn’t exactly sure what to do or expect once she got here, but all Sara knows is how throughout their entire relationship they always found each other here, at this very bench. So she secretly hopes it could do that for them again just one more time. One last time.

It’s right here that they made some of the biggest decisions of their lives. It’s where they shared their first kiss, but also where they came and made up after their first official fight. It’s where they had agreed to move into Ava’s apartment together all those years ago and where Sara had proposed eleven months later. It’s where they had eventually agreed to buy their house. The house Sara hadn’t stepped foot in for well over 7 weeks. Crashing on Zari’s couch was far from ideal, but it was the best option she had. She hadn’t been separated from Ava for this long in years. Not since they started living together, and her entire body was screaming out in agony, wanting nothing more than to be close to the woman she loves once more.

It was their spot. _Theirs_. And Sara wonders who will get it after this afternoon. Once all of this is over.

She has been sitting here for a while, twisting the wedding ring that Ava had placed on her finger a little over seven years ago. She hasn’t been able to take it off yet. Because she feels like once she does all of this will start to feel too real. 

All hope that Ava would eventually show up had been lost a few minutes ago. Yet Sara can’t bring it in herself to move.

She’s running late. Sara knows she should move and make her way to the courthouse, but she is frozen in place. Her legs feel like they’re somehow glued to their bench. Clutching onto the memories it holds for just a little while longer. Not ready to let go. Not ready to walk away.

She wonders if they’ll come here together after, to end this chapter of their lives together in the one very spot where it all began. It would only seem fitting. Part of her wishes they would, even if it is only so she can be close to Ava one more time. Share their spot one more time. But she knows she wouldn’t be able to deal with it. And neither would Ava. And if Sara’s being honest, she doesn’t want to taunt this place with the awful decision they are about to make. 

Or the decision Ava had made for them. The decision Sara only respects and accepts because she knows it’s what Ava wants. And she doesn’t have it in her to tell Ava no. Not even about this. If this is what Ava wants, then Sara will learn how to live with it. How to live without her.

She lets go of the wedding ring that she has been twisting around between her fingers. All Sara can think about is how it metaphorically stands for how she will have to let go of their marriage today. A single tear slides down Sara’s cheek and hits the A carved into the wooden bench. _How very fitting_ , Sara thinks to herself.

But the little droplet resting on their bench, on Ava’s initial, is all it takes for Sara to completely break down. Suddenly she cannot stop the tears from falling anymore and she has never been more grateful for the little privacy their spot has to offer. Her quiet sobs make her throat dry and her heart ache even more. 

And Sara wonders. Is it really too late to turn all of this around? Is there nothing they can do to stop themselves from having to go through with this? She’s willing to do anything. She’ll quit her job. She’ll stay home forever if that’s what it takes to save them, to save their marriage. But she is scared it’s not enough. Ava has made up her mind and all Sara can do is learn to accept it, even if it’s the hardest thing she’ll ever have to do in her life.

It’s her ringtone that eventually snaps Sara out of her own sorrow. She ignores the call- she knows who it’s from. She knows only one person who would be trying to reach her at this hour. It hurts knowing Ava is waiting for her for one final time. The last time, Sara reminds herself. Her chest tightens, and she feels like she can no longer breathe. 

The phone eventually goes silent, and with it so do Sara’s sobs.

Sara is unsure how much time has passed since she got here. It’s only when the phone rings for a third time, that she realizes she can’t put this off forever. Even though she sure wishes she could.

It takes everything in Sara’s power to physically remove herself from the bench. To make her feet move, one step in front of the other, towards the courthouse she should have been at ten minutes ago.

So that’s where Sara finds herself a few minutes later, at the courthouse, in front of a white door that leads to the meeting she dreads with every fiber of her being.

She knows who will be waiting for her at the other side of the door, and Sara isn’t sure she can take it. She hasn’t seen Ava in weeks. They have spoken occasionally on the phone, and they had that one awkward run in when Sara stopped by the house with Zari to pick up some of her clothes, but she hasn’t seen Ava since. And although everything in her is screaming, begging to see Ava again, Sara isn’t sure how she’ll react once she actually does. Once Ava’s eyes find her own and all she can notice is how they don’t have that sparkle in them that she fell in love with all those years ago.

Sara’s hand finds the door handle, but she doesn’t have it in her to open the door, because once she does her life will never be the same. She takes a deep breath, dreading the rest sixty, or so, minutes off her life. Dreading the rest of her _life_. A life without Ava. How did they even get to this point? They loved each other, right? _Love_ , Sara corrects herself. They still love each other. 

Or maybe Ava doesn’t love her anymore. Not in the way she used to at least. It hurts to even think about the fact that Ava could possibly have fallen out of love with her. Sara hates thinking about it, but it’s like her mind plays the thought on loop just to torture her.

Sara will never forget the day Ava, the love of her life, stood in front of her with tear stains all over her cheek, suggesting that perhaps they should just get divorced. She can still picture it clearly.

_“This isn’t working out, Sara. It hasn’t been for months. We act more like roommates than we do as wives.”_

_“What does that mean?” Sara asks, fear taking over her entire body._

_“I- I think it’s better if we end this.”_

_“This?”_

_All Sara needs to confirm her thoughts is the look Ava sends her. **Us**. And, oh. But deep down, Sara can’t help but agree. She was just too scared to bring it up. Too scared to even think about it. But with Ava being at work during the day, and Sara’s new job requiring her to mostly work the night shift, they had barely seen each other or spent any time together over the past months. Of course Ava’s right. She’s always right. They may be living together, but they never act like they are actually… together. Not anymore. _

_Whenever they do see each other it’s like they don’t even know what to talk about anymore. Conversations are awkward and the things they end up talking about are never of any importance to either of them. It’s like they’re walking on eggshells around each other. Constantly._

_After a tense moment Sara finally finds her voice. “Is that what you want?”_

_It’s barely a whisper, yet her own voice keeps ringing in her ears as if she screamed it at the top of her lungs. Her heart hurts as she takes in the look on Ava’s face._

_“I don’t know what I want anymore, Sara. All I know is that this?” Ava says, motioning between them, “This thing that’s going on between us? This is not it.”_

_And Sara doesn’t know what to say to that. She’s never seen Ava this broken before. This hurt. She seems lost and Sara would want nothing more than help guide them back towards who they used to be. Back when things were okay. When they were happy. She hates seeing Ava like this, as if her world had been ripped away from her._

_It’s also kind of how Sara feels as she realizes what Ava’s saying. A divorce. A break up. Her heart breaks at the realization, tears pooling in her eyes as she looks at Ava. Ava, the woman who she promised to make happy for the rest of her life. The woman who is now standing in front of her telling her she’s not happy anymore._

_So Sara agrees. Because if this is what Ava wants Sara will do it. If this has to be done so Ava can be happy again then Sara will have to live with the fact that she’ll be miserable for the rest of her life._

_Ava keeps looking at her expectantly. What she’s expecting, Sara’s not sure. Deciding then and there to stay true to the promise she made all these years ago, she does the only thing she can think of. Making Ava happy. So Sara looks her in the eye and nods, before walking out of the room. She doesn’t want Ava to see her cry._

So here they are, at the courthouse two months later about to file the papers for their divorce. All that stood between Sara and a life without her soon to be ex-wife was this door.

Sara takes another deep breath, bracing herself to get ready for a life she never even wanted. A life without Ava. She pushes the door open and it feels extremely heavy. Like the entire Universe is against her opening this door, like it should stay closed forever. Like this is a mistake. And Sara knows it is. Her heart has been screaming for the past two months that it is. But this is what Ava wants, so Sara can’t do anything but agree. Because when she spoke her vows, she promised Ava she’d make her happy. So if this is what it takes to make Ava happy again, happy like the way they used to be together, then Sara will go through with it. For her.

Even if it means that she herself will never be happy again. There is just no way she would ever be able to feel that kind of happiness again in her life. Not without Ava. Not with anybody else.

“Sorry I’m late.” Sara’s voice is dry when she enters the room. She quickly finds her seat, opposite Ava, next to her lawyer.

“Of course you can’t even be on time for _this_.” Ava all but snaps at her. Her words sting, hurting Sara in places she didn’t even know she could hurt.

And Sara’s not ready to look her in the eye yet, because she knows the moments she finds Ava’s eyes she’ll break down. She cannot stand to look at the eyes that once held all the love in the world for her and not see that same love reflected in them anymore. 

“I told you I’m sorry.” Sara apologizes again.

The room goes silent after that. Neither one of them knows what comes next and their lawyers are looking expectantly between the two women, as if they are waiting for one of them to make a move. 

“Let’s just get this over with.” Ava eventually says, and Sara can swear she hears her voice break. Sara wonders if maybe Ava doesn’t want to be here either. She wonders if maybe they could still be saved.

Her thoughts are interrupted by the deep voice of Ava’s lawyer. “Well then, shall we begin?”

And just like that, Sara’s stuck in a meeting about a life she can’t stand to think about. A life, where she is no longer married to Ava Lance.

The meeting seems to drag on forever, and with every agreement they make, Sara’s heart breaks a little more. 

They don’t fight while making their agreements. They were never big on fights. Sure they had their disagreements from time to time, but things rarely escalated. This isn’t that type of divorce, but for a moment Sara wishes it was. Maybe if her and Ava would just scream at each other, yell out their frustrations and bicker constantly, it would be easier for her to live with this decision. But that’s not them, it never was.

Ava gets their house, because it’s easy to agree on. Sara doesn’t even want to think about living in that house. The one she picked out with Ava. Where they had planned to start their family. She doesn’t think she can stand looking at the curtains they picked out together, or the kitchen that they had spontaneously painted one Sunday afternoon. And don’t even get her started on having to set foot into her and Ava’s bedroom, without Ava. It would simply be too much. The entire house screams _them_. Yet after this afternoon they will no longer exist together.

Sara gets her own things, but she couldn’t care less. All she cares about is Ava. Of all the things she wishes she got to keep, and every time the lawyers ask her about what things she wants to hold onto from their marriage, all her brain can scream is Ava. But she knows she can’t say that out loud, so she doesn’t say anything at all. Only asks to keep a few things that once belonged to her father or her sister.

It feels like she has been in here for days, although Sara knows it’s only been a little over an hour. A part of her wishes they could stay here forever. Because as long as they’re in this room, they’re still Mrs. and Mrs. Lance. Sara doesn’t want that to change. She doesn’t want to go back to being Miss Sara Lance. But it’s both draining and heartbreaking to see the sadness reflected into Ava’s eyes and Sara doesn’t know how much longer she can take it. So when Ava’s lawyer speaks, it comes as both a blessing and a curse to Sara.

“Well, all that’s left to do is sign these papers. And that’s it.”

And that’s it. Sara can’t believe that’s it. She can't believe that all she needs to do is sign these papers and she will no longer have a wife. They’ll no longer be married. She feels like her heart is about to shatter in her chest just at the thought of putting her signature on the bottom of the page, right next to Ava’s. 

Ava, who is accepting the papers from the woman in front of them. Sara figures this woman probably comes across these types of situations multiple times a day. Sara doesn’t think she’d be able to handle it. 

Sara stops breathing for a moment when Ava reaches for the pen on the table. She watches, quietly, how Ava hesitates, before signing the form. She uses her full signature. The full S, the curly A. The one she used at their wedding. 

Ava Sharpe. Sara hasn’t seen Ava use that name in years. Not since they both agreed on Ava becoming a Lance when they got married. And it suddenly hits Sara how real all of this is. How after today their life together, the life they had envisioned, talked about, cherished and loved, will all just disappear into thin air. 

She wants to scream at Ava, wants to correct her and tell her she wrote down the wrong name, like it happened the first few times after they got married. But this isn’t a mistake like it was back then. This is what Ava wants- to no longer be a part of the Lance family. A family they were going to expand together. 

_Ava Sharpe. Ava Sharpe. Ava Sharpe._

Sara can’t stop herself from reading the name over and over again. It’s like it’s mocking Sara for all the mistakes she has made these past few months. Like it’s screaming at her to do something, anything, to stop Ava from becoming a Sharpe again.

She can’t look at it any longer, her eyes now focused on her own hands in her lap. She’s picking at her nails, twisting her fingers, squeezing her hands into fists until her nails dig into her skin. Anything to distract herself from the fact that Ava just signed their divorce papers. Everything to not remind her of the fact that Ava wants this, that Ava is no longer happy. 

When Ava puts the pen down, Sara’s heart drops. It’s her turn. 

She can’t do it. She knows she has to, that she doesn’t have a choice. But her mind is screaming at her to stop, to _run_ , and her body isn’t cooperating. She wills her arms to move, to reach out and grab the pen, but nothing happens. She doesn’t have it in her to put in the effort. Not when her heart’s not in it. 

Sara can feel all the eyes in the room on her and the unwanted extra attention makes it hard for her to breathe.

“Miss Lance?” 

_Miss_. Sara clears her throat, wishing the tears that are slowly filling her eyes will stay at bay for just a little longer. Just a few more minutes until she can get out of here. A few more horrible minutes until she’s no longer married to the woman she loves most. 

She doesn’t say anything, barely lifts her head. She looks up just enough to find the pen, her hand trembling as she reaches for it. Sara can feel Ava’s gaze on her, can feel it burn, but she doesn’t look back. She can’t look back. It would be the worst kind of pain to look Ava in the eyes, right before she lets her go forever. 

Sara grips the pen tightly, knuckles turning white, and takes a deep breath. Her eyes fixate on the form in front of her, barely taking the words written down on it in. She knows she can’t stall this moment forever. Sara knows she has to sign. 

But when she moves her hand and puts the pen on the paper, about to agree to their divorce, she makes the mistake of looking up. Her eyes lock with Ava’s and she finds she can’t do it. Her hand stills, loosening its grip on the pen, and her chest feels tight. As if a rope’s been tied around it, tightening with every breath she takes. The ring still on her finger burns into her skin. A painful reminder of what she’s about to lose. She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, tells herself to get over it, to do this. For Ava. Everything is always for Ava. 

But then Ava lets out a small sigh across from her and it’s enough to break her. 

“I- I need a- I’m sorry, I’m- I need-,” 

She doesn’t finish her sentence. Her breathing is too fast, her heart beating out of control, and she pushes up out of her chair. The pen clatters to the table and rolls onto the floor. The room is dead silent as Sara stands there, hands balled into fists at her side. They’re all looking at her, Sara knows this. Yet all she can stare at is the form. Sara feels like it’s tormenting her, like it’s making fun of her. Ava’s signature shoving daggers in her heart. She can’t believe Ava really wants this. 

“Miss Lance?” 

But Sara doesn’t listen. She spins on her heel and rushes out of the room, the door slamming shut behind her. It’s deafening, the silence that follows. Sara didn’t know what else to do. She couldn’t, for the love of everything dear to her, sign those papers. How is she supposed to agree to something that she doesn’t want? She loves Ava more than anything else in this world. 

How could she have let it come this far? Why didn’t she stop this all from happening? But, thinking back, Sara didn’t even realize what was happening until it was too late. Until Ava had brought up getting a divorce and Sara saw no other solution than to agree. 

She shouldn’t have. She should’ve fought for Ava, she should’ve convinced her to make it work. If Sara had the chance now, she would do anything to make Ava happy again. To _be_ the one who made Ava happy again. 

But here she is, at the courthouse. Having just run out of the room, acting like a child, while all she had to do was sign some fucking papers. And she couldn’t even do _that_ right. 

The anger she’s feeling washes over her, surprises her even. But it’s stronger than her and she punches a wall before thinking better of it. Her hand throbs and it manages to distract her from the ache in her heart for a second. She rubs her hand, clenching her teeth as she sinks down on a chair in the hallway. God, how did they get here? 

Sara knows she needs to get back in there. She knows she can’t just leave. Can’t just run. But running feels so much easier than giving up on them. Than giving up on Ava. Everything seems to be easier than that. 

She tries to get her breathing back to normal. In through her nose, out through her mouth. And again. Her eyes are still closed, fists clenched. It’s the only thing she can do to stop herself from punching anything else. Sara knows her anger is misplaced. The only person she should be angry at is herself. It’s just so much easier to be angry at Ava- for making her do this, for giving up on her. 

Sara remembers everything so clearly. How they met, when she fell in love with Ava. Their first kiss. All of their dates. Their anniversaries. And though they barely had any, even most of their fights she can recall just like that. It’s not like their relationship was perfect, rationally Sara knows that, but it’s still the best thing that has ever happened to her. 

She’s just not ready to let that go. 

It’s only when she hears faint footsteps coming her way that she realizes she’s crying. She has no idea how long she’s been sitting here, but it doesn’t feel like long enough. If she could, she’d just stay here forever. Never go back in there, never sign those forms. When the footsteps come closer, Sara still doesn’t look up. 

She knows who it is, just by the way she’s walking. 

“You can’t just run out of there.” 

And normally Sara would have a witty comeback, but not this time. She doesn’t say anything, just stares at her fists. If she squeezes any tighter she might draw blood. Sara knows she should say something. She knows she should probably reassure Ava that she’ll be there in a second, that she’ll sign those damn papers. 

But she can’t. She can’t pretend to be brave anymore. She’s done enough of this, enough of acting like this is fine and like she’s okay with it when she’s not. So she looks up, searches Ava’s face and swallows heavily when their eyes meet. 

Sara knows she looks like a mess. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying, dried tear stains on her cheeks. She quickly wipes her eyes, but it’s too late. Ava sees it anyway. Sara hates the look on her face. It’s the one she had when they first met, when they couldn’t stand each other. It’s guarded and harsh and even though Sara knows it’s just to protect herself, it still hurts. 

“They gave us ten minutes.” Ava says, looking away for a second before locking her gaze on Sara once more. 

Sara doesn’t know what to do with that information. What is she supposed to do in ten minutes? She barely knows how to keep her shit together as it is. But Ava is looking at her like she’s expecting something, again, and it makes Sara nervous. 

“Will you at least say something?” And it’s because of how Ava asks that question, her tone distant and indifferent, that Sara snaps. 

“Can you please stop talking to me like we’re strangers, Ava?” 

Ava seems to be taken aback by Sara’s words. She’s quiet for a second, recovering from the way Sara spoke to her. Sara can tell by the way she takes a breath and folds her arms over her chest, like a shield. Trying to protect herself. 

“It almost feels like we are.” 

“You don’t have to remind me.” Sara snaps, looking back at her fists. 

Ava sighs, takes a few steps closer. She doesn’t sit down on the chair next to Sara. Just stands there. They breathe together for a moment and they both know time’s running out. If Sara wants to say anything she should say it now. It’s her only chance. Her last chance. 

“Look, Sara, we agreed on this. We decided that -”

“No. _You_ decided.” Sara says, voice hard. She tilts her head to see the look on Ava’s face. 

Ava’s eyes widen. “What?” 

“God, Ava!” Sara exclaims. “Do you really think that this is what I want?” 

It seems like Ava doesn’t know what to say to that. For the first time that day, Sara sees a bit of the woman she loves in Ava’s eyes, as if there’s a crack in those thick walls around her heart. Her arms drop from where they were crossed and she awkwardly lets them hang at her sides. 

“Then why did you go along with it?” Ava asks then, voice quiet. Almost fragile.

“Because it’s what _you_ want.” Sara’s voice cracks as she speaks, another tear rolling down her cheek. “I never wanted any of this.” 

“Sara…”

It’s the first time that Ava has said her name like that in weeks. Softer, less distant than before. It feels like it’s been ages, but Sara knows it hasn’t been that long. Yet it hurts, the way it rolls off her tongue, the way it sounds when Ava says it. Almost like a prayer. Like a whisper. 

“Why, Sara?” Ava asks, running a hand over her face. Her eyes are watery, and Sara can see the pain in them. “Why are you only telling me this now?” 

“What was I supposed to say? You’re not happy with me anymore, Ava. I have to let you go.” 

“But why now? I already signed the papers.”

And that’s what does it. A sob escapes Sara’s lips and she quickly covers her mouth with her hand. She looks away, turns her body to the other side, not wanting Ava to see her like this. Sure, Ava’s seen her cry before. But this is different. This time Ava can’t reach out and comfort her. She can’t grab Sara’s hands and kiss them, she can’t pull her against her chest and hold her until the pain stops. 

Because the pain will never stop. 

She can feel Ava stepping closer. Sara can feel the hesitation radiate off her. It all feels like a ticking time bomb, like ten minutes will pass and everything will blow up. Everything will fall apart. She can’t stand the thought of it. Sara wishes she didn’t have to be here to watch it, to witness it. To live it. 

“Sara, I need you to talk to me.” Ava says, no longer any trace of the walls she had put up earlier. She almost sounds like she loves her again. 

“What’s the use?” Sara asks, refusing to look at Ava, “It’s over.” 

Ava’s breath hitches, Sara can hear it, but still she keeps her eyes trained on a spot on the floor. Her eyes are burning because of the effort it takes to not let her tears fall any more. She’s so tired of crying. She’s tired of hurting. Sara wishes it would just stop. 

“Please. Sara.” 

But really, who is she to refuse Ava anything? Sara has never been able to tell her no, to not give in. Ava knows this. She’s used it to her advantage more times than Sara can count. Yet this time it’s different. 

“I don’t know what to say, Ava.” Sara admits. “Nothing I can say would make things right. I’m just too late.” 

And technically Sara knows it’s not true. They’re not divorced yet, but they’re close enough to it that Sara feels like all hope is lost. She doesn’t know what she was expecting when she walked out of that courtroom. She was just hoping it would buy her a little bit more time. 

“I’ll just go sign those papers.” 

Sara starts to get up, her knees feeling weak underneath her. She falters, automatically reaching out to Ava to help her find her balance, but she stops herself just in time. Sara can barely stand on her feet without wanting to collapse, but she knows she has to do this. It’s inevitable. 

She goes to walk past Ava, but is held back by a soft hand around her wrist. That touch alone is enough to put Sara back at square one. The tears she was trying so hard to keep at bay spill over once more, her lip trembling as she stands still. Her back is still turned to Ava, her shoulders slouched, head down. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. 

“You haven’t signed them yet.” Ava tells her. Sara doesn’t know why she needs to keep reminding her of these things. 

“But you have.” 

It’s enough to make Ava let go of her wrist, her hand falling back against her thigh with a soft thud. Sara hears it and it makes her heart ache. Shoving her hands in her pockets, Sara turns towards Ava, looking at her. She’s surprised to find a similar look to her own gracing Ava’s features. Just less messy. More composed. More like she has her shit together. 

“You can’t do this, Sara.” Ava mutters, her eyebrows furrowed, “I didn’t feel like there was any other way.”

“We could’ve talked,” Sara says, voice rising in pitch, “We could’ve tried and figured out a solution. I could’ve taken on other shifts. Hell, I could’ve quit my job.” 

“You can’t just quit your job, Sara.” 

Sara’s angry now. She knows she’s right. They didn’t try hard enough. “I could and I would.” 

“Don’t say that.” 

“It’s true, Ava,” Sara says, stepping closer, finally feeling like she can see her wife through the cracks of the woman in front of her, “I would do anything. But I can’t do _this_.” 

_This_ , meaning a divorce. Sara can’t let her go. She doesn’t want to. All she wants is to grow old with Ava. That’s what she promised her all these years ago. For better or worse. To have and to hold. She wants nothing more than to just hold Ava, especially now that she is looking at her like that again. Like she loves her.

“Why are you only telling me this now?” 

“When else was I supposed to tell you?” Sara asks desperately, “You wouldn’t have listened to me.”

“You don’t know that.” 

Sara shrugs, wiping her eyes, “You were so set on this. On a divorce,” she can barely say the word, “who am I to stop you from having what you want?”

“My _wife_ , Sara.” Ava says, finally fully letting her walls fall down. “You’re my wife.” 

“Am or was?” 

Ava looks at her, mouth slightly open in surprise. Sara knows she took it too far. She can’t expect Ava to answer that question. It wouldn’t be fair. So she shakes her head and scoffs. 

“Don’t answer that.” She says, looking away from Ava’s eyes. “We should get back. I think we’re way past our ten minutes.” 

Sara is about to turn back around, to finally walk back into that courtroom and do the hardest thing she’s ever had to do, yet again Ava stops her. But this time not with a hand wrapped around a wrist. Sara is fully pulled back, until she’s inches away from Ava, Ava’s hands softly on her cheeks. She’s giving Sara no choice but to look at her. 

And Sara is expecting Ava’s gaze to be full of anger, or annoyance, but all she can find is love and longing and it breaks Sara’s heart even more. She doesn’t know why Ava needs to make this any harder than it already is. 

“Stop running for a second.” Ava says, voice soft. Gentle. Way gentler than Sara’s gotten used to these past few months. 

“It’s what I do best.” 

Ava sighs, closing her eyes as she leans her forehead against Sara’s. “Please stop. Can you please just tell me what you want, instead of running away from me?” 

Sara thinks about it for a minute. She pulls back to look at Ava, making the latter open her eyes. They’re full of pain and Sara feels like an asshole for making her feel this way. She should’ve just signed those papers. Then Ava would’ve been free from her by now and she could go find someone who’d make her happy. 

“I- I just want _you_ , Aves.” Sara admits, as if that wasn’t obvious, “I don’t care about anything else. I only care about you.” 

“It’s not that easy.” Ava says, her thumb softly stroking Sara’s cheek. “A lot has happened. We’ve said a lot of things. Things I didn’t mean. Things I know you didn’t mean.” 

“I know.” 

Ava adjusts her hold on Sara’s face, lets her hand drop a little so they’re cupping the back of Sara’s neck. Sara leans into it, leans into her touch as much as she can. She’s not sure what’s going to happen next. This might as well be the last time she gets to stand this close to Ava. All she wants to do is reach for her, but her hands are numbly dangling by her sides. 

“We royally fucked up, Sara.”

“I know.” 

Sara doesn’t know how long they stand there for, doesn’t know how much time has passed since she walked out on Ava and their lawyers. She feels like time stands still now that Ava’s so close to her again. Now that she’s holding her. 

“When I saw you sign those papers, I-” Sara bites her lip to stop it from trembling, closes her eyes as she cries, “It hurt so much. I knew it was going to hurt. Losing you is something I never thought I’d have to go through. But that… It’s too much to bear, Ava.” 

“I didn’t want to sign them.” Ava says, almost as if she’s scared to admit it. “It’s the worst thing I have ever done in my life.” 

“Then why did you?” Sara asks, trying to keep it together, “Why didn’t you say something?” 

“Because you had agreed and I thought this was something you wanted, too.” 

Sara shakes her head, not believing this is happening. If only they’d talked sooner. If they would’ve just opened their mouths, communicated like they usually did. Maybe none of this would’ve happened. 

“I was at our bench earlier.” Sara starts. “That’s why I was late. I wanted to be there one more time. See it one more time. I just wanted to be reminded of us. Of when we were happy.” 

“Oh, Sara.” Ava whispers, wiping her tears away, “I’m so sorry.” 

“No.” Sara says, voice hardening, “You’ve got nothing to apologize for. You just did what you thought was best.” 

“And I was wrong.”

 _What?_

Sara’s eyes widen, not believing a word she’s hearing. She doesn’t know what to say. So she just stares at Ava, her hands growing incredibly impatient by her side. They’re still standing so close together. So close their bodies are almost touching. It’s almost too much for Sara. 

“How did I ever think that this was the right thing for us?” Ava asks, seemingly talking more to herself than to Sara, “You- You were willing to divorce me to make me happy, because you thought that was what I wanted. How could I ever let you go?”

Sara’s body reacts more out of instinct than anything else. Her hands reach forward to grab Ava’s waist and pull her closer. Finally, finally touching. It’s been so long since they were this close, this intimate. Sara feels like she’s about to combust on the spot. 

“Losing you is the worst pain I have ever felt, Aves. I hated every second of it.” 

“I know, my love,” Ava says softly, the pet name rolling off her lips as if it never left, “Me too.” 

Sara is glad she doesn’t apologize again. They’ve both made mistakes, but they both acted out of love for each other. Doing what they thought was best for the other. They’re not at fault for that. They could have handled things better, definitely, but in the end they just tried to do what’s right. 

“What do we do now?” Sara asks, scared to know the answer. 

Ava smiles at her. It’s a little smile and a little tentative, but it’s there nonetheless. “Now we walk back into that room and we fix this mess. And then we go home.” 

“Home?” 

“Yes, Sara.” Ava reassures her. “We go home and we talk. Because we really do have a lot to talk about and even more to figure out if we want to make this work. But you were right, we should have talked more. We should’ve tried harder.” 

“So you don’t want to get divorced anymore?” 

“Baby, I never _really_ wanted to get divorced. I just didn’t see any other solution to our problem. You’re the love of my life, Sara. But I’d rather not have you at all than sleep in the same bed as you every night, but feel like I’m living with a stranger.” 

Sara sobs then, fully leaning against Ava, hoping she’ll be there to catch her. She is. She holds Sara close, one hand on the back of her head, the other tightly wrapped around her back. Sara clings to Ava like a lifeline, hands holding onto Ava’s jacket, squeezing so tight she feels like she might rip it. And she just cries. Ava never loosens her hold.

It’s only when Ava’s body shakes that Sara manages to pull back enough to look at her. She’s crying. There’s no longer any trace of the woman who stood before her just a few minutes ago, looking as if she didn’t care about anything. Ava looks back at Sara, those blue eyes holding so much love. Sara didn’t even think it was possible anymore. 

“Jerk.” 

“Idiot.” 

Sara can't help but smile through her tears. For the first time in ages feeling like her smile is genuine, like her heart is not as heavy anymore. She knows Ava’s right. She knows they have a lot to talk about and a lot to work on, but she’s so glad they are not giving up on each other. Sara thinks she’s never been happier than right now. 

“Let’s go home?” Sara asks, hesitant to refer to their house as home again. 

Ava nods, wiping the last of Sara’s tears away with her thumbs, before leaning forwards and pressing a soft kiss to Sara’s forehead. Sara’s eyes close as soon as Ava’s lips touch her skin and the hands that are still on Ava’s waist tighten their grip. She’s missed this so much. Ava lingers for a bit too long, but Sara doesn’t mind. She relishes in it, savors every second of it.

But then Ava pulls back and drops her hands from Sara’s face, over her shoulders, down her arms until she reaches Sara’s hands. Ava gives them a soft squeeze, that familiar smile back on her face. Sara is surprised at how easy it would be to just fall back into their old habits. The teasing, the banter, the sarcasm. 

“Yes,” Ava says then, letting go of Sara’s hands, “Let’s go home.” 

Ava’s running late and she hates it. 

The box with donuts in her hands is shaking as she’s nearly running through the park. Work had run out and rush hour had been the absolute worst. On top of that the line at the store was way too long and-

It’s just been a really long day. But she’s here now and that’s all that matters. As she gets closer to the bench Ava can feel her heart throb in her throat, her hands getting clammy. She shouldn’t be nervous about this, and deep down she isn’t, but after everything her and Sara had been through these past months she’s still a bit scared to screw things up. 

When she reaches the back of the bench she softly clears her throat, making Sara look at her. There’s a smile on the other woman’s face, her eyes lighting up when she sees her.

“Sorry I’m late,” Ava says, voice quiet as she steps around the bench so she’s standing in front of Sara. 

Sara’s hand comes up to hold hers, “You’re just in time.” 

It makes Ava’s heart flutter in her chest. The way Sara’s looking at her is still the same as eight years ago and it still makes Ava feel all these crazy things. It’s then that Sara glances at the box in Ava’s hands, raising an eyebrow. 

“Donuts?” 

“I figured you deserve something extra today.” 

Sara chuckles, patting the spot next to her. Ava quickly sits down, putting the box on the ground in front of them. She turns towards Sara and sighs, reaching for her hand. Sara immediately melts into her, her head coming to rest on Ava’s shoulder, Ava’s head in turn resting on hers. 

“How was work?” Sara asks, her fingers absentmindedly running patterns on the back of Ava’s hand. 

“Work was alright. Exhausting as always, but I’m good now.” Ava sighs. “Everything is better here.” In their favorite spot. In Sara’s arms.

Sara shuffles a bit, turning her body more towards Ava. “I missed you.”

“You saw me this morning.” 

“I know,” Sara mutters, “That’s not what I meant.” 

Oh. Ava tenses a little, obviously not having expected the conversation to turn to this. But it has and now she has to deal with it, because they talk about things now, unlike before. So she untangles her hands from Sara’s and gives her wife a little shove so she straightens up to look at her. 

“What’s on your mind?” Ava asks gently, hand on Sara’s thigh. 

Sara shrugs. “Everything and nothing. You.” 

“Care to elaborate, babe?” 

“It’s our 8th anniversary,” Sara starts, “I never thought we’d get here. I really thought I was going to lose you and I would just have to spend the rest of my life without you. The time spent being apart from you was the worst time of my life, Aves. And I missed you. I missed _this_.” 

Ava cups her cheek, lifting her head to look at her. She can’t help but press a soft kiss to Sara’s lips, lingering for a moment too long. Sara leans into her, hands reaching for Ava. Because she can. 

“But we’re here, baby,” Ava whispers against her, “We’re here and we made it.” 

“We almost didn’t.” 

“We needed a wake up call,” Ava says as she pulls back. “We’ve never been better, Sara. I know it hasn’t been easy, but we both put in the effort and we’re making it work. I never would’ve forgiven myself if I let you go. You know that, right?” 

Sara glances down, looking at their hands that are nearly touching. Her eyes wander towards the ring on Ava’s finger. The ring she’s been wearing for eight years now, one similar to the one on Sara’s finger. Her hand reaches out to touch it. Ava willingly lets Sara hold her hand, watches how she toys with it, twists it around on Ava’s finger. 

“You’re the love of my life, Mrs. Lance.” Sara whispers, looking up to meet Ava’s gaze again. 

And there it is, the beautiful smile Sara will never grow tired of seeing on her wife’s face again. Oh, how she loves being the reason for that smile. 

“Right back at you, Mrs. Lance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we hope you don't hate us too much after this one. please leave a comment/kudo if you liked it, we love reading your thoughts! 
> 
> yell at us on the bird app if you want:  
> Imke (@mrsavalance)  
> Ell (@dinahhdrake)  
> or use the tag #LoveHer100Ways
> 
> stay home. stay safe. see you in a couple days <3


	4. all I wanna do is hold you tight (if that’s alright)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I already told you, D, I’m not taking your bed from you.” 
> 
> “That’s not- That’s not what I’m asking.” 
> 
> “Oh.” 
> 
> _or_
> 
> the one where dinah and laurel share the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY DINAHSIREN DAY ! 
> 
> we apologize for the feelings we caused with our previous Avalance chapter. it was a hard one to write, but we hold it dear in our hearts. we hope you liked it as much as we liked writing it! thank you to everyone who commented and tweeted, letting us know what they thought. we were also surprised to see people live-tweeting their reactions to the chapter and we absolutely love it when you do that. some people even used the # which is fun for us to go through. it means the world to us that you guys like this so much.
> 
> on another note! today's chapter isn't angsty at ALL. so enjoy the fluff while it lasts folks.
> 
> happy reading <3
> 
> • title from I'll be alright by Christopher Bensinger

**There is enough room for both of us.** \- _Dinahsiren_

It’s been nine days since Laurel appeared at the bar downstairs. 

Dinah still remembers first seeing her. It’s like she could feel someone looking at her- _truly_ looking at her. Not in that way the other people in the bar were watching her play, but in a way as if someone was finally truly seeing her again for the first time in months. But she had been so caught up in her song, so completely into the lyrics, that she didn’t realize a ghost from her past was standing just a few feet away. It’s only when she looked up near the end of the song and her eyes locked with Laurel’s that Dinah realized just how much she had missed the other woman. 

Dinah couldn’t help but notice how Laurel’s lips curled up as soon as the blonde found her looking back. And that smile alone was enough to throw Dinah slightly off her game. It felt like her heart took over from her mind, the words _I’m in love with you_ spilling from her lips as if they were waiting to be spoken. She didn’t dare to look at Laurel as she sang, too afraid her true emotions would betray her and show on her face. 

Dinah had realized her feelings for Laurel a little before Crisis. It didn’t come as a complete surprise to her. Sure, they had a rocky history and it hadn’t been easy to see Laurel as her own person, instead of Black Siren, but Dinah had managed over time. As they grew closer Dinah kept catching herself just thinking about Laurel. How her day was going, if she was smiling, if someone was picking fights with her, if _she_ was picking fights with people. If she was thinking about Dinah, too. 

The thing is just that Dinah never even dared to believe that Laurel could feel the same way. So when she ended up in 2040, alone and with basically no identity, she grabbed the opportunity to get over her feelings. It’s not like she would ever see Laurel again anyway. Dinah likes to think that she was doing pretty well. She had focused mainly on the bar and making new friends and it had worked. 

Until now.

Until Laurel showed up in the very bar Dinah had tried to use as a distraction to get over her and she had stood in front of her and smiled. It threw Dinah for a loop. Her heart started racing, her hands that were gracefully sliding across the keys of her piano suddenly slightly trembling, but she hid it well. Until she absentmindedly ended up changing the lyrics of the song and accidentally sang her feelings out loud in front of Laurel, and everyone else in the bar. But the smile adorning Laurel’s face afterwards indicated to Dinah that Laurel hadn’t realized her tiny slip up. 

And Dinah was grateful Laurel hadn’t picked up on it, especially because they had to come up with an arrangement ever since Laurel decided to stay in 2040. Dinah is still not entirely sure why Laurel suddenly, after months, decided to show up, but she can’t say she minds. It works, just the two of them and Mia. They make a good team.

Back when Dinah was part of Team Arrow she’d always thought she couldn’t do this kind of thing. Lead a team like this. Fair, she used to be Captain of the police force and people listened to her. They respected her and followed her orders. They did her bidding. She was good at leading them. But things were different with Team Arrow. Making a team of professional police officers listen to you was a whole lot easier than getting a bunch of vigilantes to do what you wanted. 

But this. This is different and Dinah likes it. And getting to do it all with Laurel by her side? That’s even better than Dinah could have ever imagined. They work surprisingly well together. Laurel being all snarky bites and sarcastic comments, Dinah being the more comforting and calming one of the group. It was necessary, especially when Laurel and Mia decided to butt heads over the stupidest things. 

So here they are nine days after saving Bianca. 

Laurel is still crashing on Dinah’s couch. Over the past week she’s bought herself some clothes, a toothbrush and just general stuff to make herself more comfortable at Dinah’s place. Dinah hasn’t admitted it out loud yet, but she really likes having someone there. It’s nice to be able to just talk to someone when she gets back from her shift at work and not get home to a dark and empty apartment.

It’s nice to cook with someone, or order takeout on days that they’re feeling more lazy. She enjoys watching crime shows together under a pile of blankets, cup of hot cocoa in their hand as they discuss what’s happening on screen. Dinah never knew Laurel could be this domestic. She loves it. Loves their time together. But all it’s done so far is worsen Dinah’s feelings. 

Tonight they decided to go for takeout. As soon as Dinah got upstairs she announced that she was too tired to cook, so if Laurel wanted something decent she’d have to make it herself. Laurel had thrown her a worried glance, quickly masked with a witty comeback about how Dinah shouldn’t get too used to Laurel cooking for her, just because she had done it a few times. 

So that’s how they find themselves an hour and a half after Dinah’s shift ended. On the couch, Chinese food spread out in between them on the couch, with some rerun of NCIS playing on the tv. They’re not really paying attention to what is happening on screen, they’re mostly just talking. Laurel makes her try some of her dumplings and Dinah’s heart flutters when Laurel brings up the chopstick with the dumpling to her mouth to let her have a bite. It’s awfully domestic and if you’d told Dinah they would turn out like this when they first met she would have probably canary cried you off the planet. 

But here they are. Laurel smiling at her and Dinah just so incredibly in love with her. 

When Laurel finishes her food, she reaches over to put the empty take out containers on the coffee table in front of them before stretching her back. It cracks and she lets out a sound of relief, her hand pushing into her lower back for support. Dinah watches her, taking in the small frown on her face. 

“Everything okay?” 

Laurel straightens up and looks at her, small smile on her lips, “Yeah. My back just hurts a bit. I think sleeping on your couch broke me.” 

Dinah frowns. She can’t believe she didn’t think of that. She’s heard Laurel complain about her back multiple times over the past days, but she never thought too much of it. Dinah doesn’t even think her couch is that uncomfortable, but to be fair she’s never really slept on it for more than a few hours herself. She can imagine that having to sleep on it for multiple days in a row can kind of break your back. Or at least do enough damage to it to bother you during the day.

“I’m sorry,” she says then, not sure what to do with her hands that are now aimlessly tugging at her jeans. “I mean, we could switch for a few days? You take the bed and I take the couch?”

Laurel shrugs it off, as expected, “Don’t worry about it, D. I’m already grateful that you’re letting me crash here until I find my own place.” 

“Of course,” Dinah says quietly, not being able to shake the guilt she’s currently feeling. 

Fair, she doesn’t have to let Laurel stay at her place, but they both know there’s not really another option. It’s just that she only has one bedroom and Dinah isn’t sure if she could handle having Laurel in bed with her. So the couch seemed like the only plausible option. Now that Dinah thinks about it she realizes this won’t really work in the long run. 

But it’s not like she can ask her to sleep in the same bed, right? Sure, it would be much better for Laurel’s back, but it feels a lot like crossing a line that Dinah isn’t sure they should cross at all. She doesn’t want to complicate things. She’s not sure if she means for them both or just for herself personally. 

Having Laurel near her every day is already complicated enough as it is. She doesn’t want to add sharing a bed to the whole mix of feelings she’s already dealing with nowadays. But then she glances at Laurel from the corner of her eye, and sees the pained expression on her face, and she can feel her resolve dissipating slowly. 

They don’t really talk for the remainder of the evening. Both of them automatically getting comfortable now that they’ve had some food, settling in for the night. But as the minutes drag on Dinah can feel herself getting sleepy, her body sinking into the couch more with every breath she takes. She’s just so tired and being here, with Laurel, is so nice. She’s never felt this safe with anyone, which is kind of ironic if you ask her. 

So when her eyes droop closed Dinah doesn’t fight it. She lets her body relax, lets her head drop to the side until it hits something soft. She figures it’s a pillow, but when Laurel speaks it startles her. 

“Are you tired?” 

Dinah opens her eyes and lifts her head, now realizing she was resting against Laurel’s shoulder. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.” 

“You’ve had a long day, it’s okay.” Laurel says gently, her hand coming to rest on Dinah’s knee. “Maybe you should go to bed?” 

Dinah doesn’t know what to say to that. She finds herself not wanting to go upstairs yet. She likes just being here with Laurel. Over the past days this has become her favorite part of the day. Just sitting here together, bodies touching, sharing body heat. It’s the thing Dinah looks forward to the most. Her hesitation must be visible in some way, because then Laurel smiles and shrugs. 

“Or we could stay here for a little longer.” 

“I’d like that,” Dinah admits, glancing at Laurel’s hand on her knee. 

She settles in against Laurel’s side again, Laurel never moving her hand from where it’s resting on Dinah’s knee. Instead she squeezes softly, making Dinah shiver. Dinah rests her head now fully on Laurel’s shoulder, her eyes closing as she gets comfortable again. When she takes a breath she inhales Laurel’s scent and it makes her head spin. God, she’s got it good. Laurel, in her turn, lets her head rest on Dinah’s.

Dinah wishes she could see them. She wonders if they look cute. She wonders if Laurel is smiling, just like she is. It’s strange, sitting here with her like this. Dinah doesn’t think about the past that much anymore, but sometimes she can’t help but wonder. 

She’s not really paying attention to the screen in front of them anymore. All Dinah can think about is how Laurel is pressed to her side and whenever she breathes it just lulls her more to sleep. Dinah absentmindedly wraps her hand around Laurel’s arm, her hand still on Dinah’s knee. Laurel shifts a little until her body is angled fully towards Dinah. 

They don’t say much. Probably both too scared to address what is happening, scared it might ruin the moment. With every second that passes, Dinah gets a little more hopeful that Laurel might feel the same after all. Even if it’s just a little bit. With that small boost of confidence Dinah finds it easier to cuddle into Laurel. 

It’s the first time they’re doing this. They’ve held hands before, sure, or fallen asleep on each other. But this feels different. More intimate in a way. It’s like they’re both more aware of it, like it just _means_ something. 

Dinah wonders if it meant something before, too. 

“I’m so tired,” Dinah whispers, head turned into Laurel. 

Laurel chuckles. “I’m not surprised. I think you passed out three times already in the time it took them to solve the case.” 

“Wait, they solved the case?” Dinah asks, a pout forming on her lips. 

She can feel Laurel chuckle next to her, her beautiful laugh ringing in her ears. Dinah thinks she could listen to it forever. She realizes, then and there, that she’d probably do anything to make Laurel laugh like this for the rest of her life.

“I’m sorry,” Dinah eventually apologies. “You know, for falling asleep on you.”

“Hey,” Laurel says, no longer a joking lilt in her voice, “Don’t apologize. It’s cute.”

And. Oh. Well. 

Dinah feels her cheeks heat up, so she cuddles herself further into Laurel, her face now almost fully tucked into the other woman’s neck. Laurel tenses a bit at the change, but relaxes soon after. Her free hand reaches out to hold Dinah’s, the one that’s still holding onto her elbow. 

“Are you going to fall asleep on me again?”

Dinah laughs softly, voice deep, “Maybe. Would that be a problem?” 

It’s silent for a while and Dinah feels like she asked a completely different question. She feels like somehow she just crossed the boundary she told herself not to just earlier tonight. So when Laurel doesn’t say anything she pulls back and goes to untangle her hand from Laurel’s arm, but Laurel’s hand is quick to hold her in place. Their faces are incredibly close now. Too close for Dinah’s heart to not beat out of control in her chest. Oh God. 

“No.” Laurel says then, eyes dark and soft, “Not a problem.” 

“Okay.” Dinah’s voice sounds more like a whisper when she replies, forcing her eyes to stay locked on Laurel’s, “Good to know.” 

There’s a beat before Laurel’s eyes drop to Dinah’s lips, but nothing happens. Dinah feels like she can’t breathe. Like her heart is climbing its way up her throat, words she doesn’t want to say burning on the tip of her tongue. 

Laurel exhales heavily before looking into Dinah’s eyes again, a careful smile on her face. She doesn’t say anything, just pats her own shoulder as an invite. Dinah doesn’t need to be told twice, immediately cuddling into Laurel again. 

They finish their episode in silence. Dinah is clutching onto Laurel’s arm, thumb stroking mindless patterns over her sleeve. Laurel’s hand has risen up on Dinah’s leg, now fully resting on her thigh. Dinah catches herself looking at her hand more often than she would like to admit. It’s just so… intimate. 

It’s when the episode ends and the credits roll that Laurel clears her throat. Dinah hesitantly sits back up, untangling herself from Laurel. The spell seems broken somehow and all of a sudden she feels awkward. Like they have been caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing. She feels the need to hide. But then Laurel looks at her and smiles, her cheeks tinted in the slightest shade of pink, and Dinah feels her body relax. 

“Bed time?” Laurel asks as she grabs the remote to turn the tv off. 

Dinah finds herself nodding. She’s too tired to keep this up for much longer. If only she knew what she meant with _this_. 

Laurel gets up from the couch to grab her pillow and blanket that she stacks under the coffee table every morning. Dinah just watches her. She watches how Laurel puts the pillow at the end of the couch and drapes the blanket over where she usually sleeps. Then she stretches her back and Dinah tries her hardest to look away as her shirt rides up just enough to show a bit of skin, but she can’t. Dinah feels like she’s bewitched. 

“I’m gonna go change,” Laurel says, throwing Dinah another smile before heading off towards the bathroom upstairs. 

Dinah watches her go. 

Only when Laurel has disappeared from sight Dinah manages to look away, her eyes wandering towards the pillow on the couch. Laurel seems so used to sleeping here, like it doesn’t bother her at all. Yet Dinah knows that it does, because it is obvious how badly her body is hurting because of it. So why won’t she agree to switch for a couple nights? Even if it’s just to give her back a break? 

Dinah is half tempted to just get undressed and get comfortable under the blanket, just to prove a point. To not give Laurel a choice. But she wouldn’t put it past Laurel to drag Dinah off of the couch and force her to go upstairs. She’s stubborn enough to do so after all.

Dinah doesn’t realize Laurel’s back downstairs until she’s getting under the covers. Her eyes find Dinah as she snuggles into the pillow, pulling the blanket up to her chin. There’s a small smile on her face and Dinah can’t help but smile back. 

“I should- I should go upstairs. Right?” 

Laurel’s smile widens, turning dangerously close to a smirk, “If you want to go to sleep, yes.” 

“Right.” Dinah says, not fully convinced about her need for sleep. “Well. Goodnight, Laurel.” 

Dinah gets up from the couch, feeling Laurel’s gaze follow her as she walks towards the stairs that spiral up to the first floor. Laurel whispers a soft goodnight as Dinah passes her, almost as if she doesn’t want Dinah to hear her. Dinah tries to not look back at her as she starts her way up on the stairs, but she just can’t stop thinking about Laurel having to sleep on the couch. It feels wrong, especially after tonight. The way they were so comfortable with each other. Just casually touching, talking. Cuddling. 

It felt so different. Dinah wonders if the chances of Laurel feeling the same way really are that slim. She risks one more glance at Laurel, coming to a stop in the middle of the stairs; just where it turns. Laurel’s not looking at her anymore. She has her eyes closed, her hand on the back of her neck and that same pained expression from before back on her face. 

And maybe, _maybe_ , Dinah is pushing it tonight, but she can’t help herself as she grips the railing of the stairs and takes a breath before talking. 

“Do you wanna come upstairs?” 

There’s a beat of silence and for a second Dinah thinks she fucked it all up, but then Laurel sits up, leans back on her hand and looks at her. Her eyes are wide, a bit surprised, her mouth slightly agape. Dinah feels her cheeks flush. 

“What?” 

“You know, I just thought since your back is hurting so much, maybe you’d want a good night’s sleep.” 

“I already told you, D, I’m not taking your bed from you.” 

“That’s not- That’s not what I’m asking.” 

“Oh.” 

Laurel’s still looking at her like she just got proposed to, meanwhile Dinah is worrying her lower lip between her teeth. She already regrets asking Laurel and she hasn’t even said no yet. She’s not sure if this will make things awkward, but she’s going to try her best to not let Laurel push her away after this. 

“So, you mean, like, sharing?” 

“Yeah?” 

It sounds more like a question than a reassurement, but Dinah doesn’t know what to make of Laurel’s facial expression, so she’s just winging it at this point. But then that soft smile is back on Laurel’s face and Dinah swears she can see a small blush form high on her cheeks. It settles the racing of her heart a little bit. 

“Are you sure?”

Dinah finds herself nodding even before Laurel has finished asking the question, “Yes. I mean, there is enough room for both of us.” 

“Okay.” 

It doesn’t even take two seconds for Laurel to agree. She gets up from the couch and goes to reach for the pillow and the blanket, but Dinah quickly clears her throat. Laurel looks at her expectantly. 

“You don’t need those.” 

“Alright.” 

Laurel is surprisingly compliant, but Dinah doesn’t mind. She waits for Laurel on the stairs and it’s only when she’s right behind Dinah that she walks all the way upstairs, Laurel trailing behind her. Dinah can feel Laurel’s presence burning in her back as they walk into her bedroom. She’s scared of how intimate this feels. It’s like she’s letting Laurel see one of the most vulnerable parts of her. 

It’s only then, when they’re both in the room and Laurel closes the door behind her, that Dinah realizes she still needs to change into her pajamas. Okay, so she didn’t completely think this through. And yes, she knows she could go change in the bathroom down the hall, but for some reason Dinah feels like that would make things only more awkward between them. Also, it’s not like Laurel has never seen her change before, right? So what’s the big deal? 

Deciding on trying to not think about it too much, Dinah walks over towards her side of the bed and reaches for the hem of her shirt before pulling it over her head in one swift movement. She’s not sure if she can actually feel Laurel’s eyes on her or if it’s just wishful thinking. 

Next she reaches for her belt, unbuckling it and undoing her zipper. She keeps her back firmly turned to Laurel, knowing she’ll crumble if she finds her looking back at her. Her jeans slide down her legs effortlessly, making her shiver as the cool air in the room hits her bare legs. She steps out of her pants and kicks them towards the corner, not bothering to put them away properly. Dinah reaches for her sleep shirt resting on her pillow, now risking a glance at Laurel. Laurel, who’s standing across from Dinah at the other side of the bed, looking at her. It’s hard to tell in the dim light of the bedroom, but Dinah swears there’s a blush on her cheeks. It makes her heart flutter. 

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stare.” 

Dinah bites her lip, trying to hold back the grin that’s threatening to break out on her face. “That’s okay.” 

“You’re just- You’re beautiful.” 

Now it’s Dinah’s time to blush. Not knowing what to say, she goes to tug the shirt fully over her head, the hem of it brushing her upper thighs. Laurel finally seems to be able to avert her gaze and she crawls under the covers, her eyes now looking everywhere except Dinah. Dinah follows suit, getting comfortable next to her, on her side, never once taking her eyes off Laurel. Laurel, who’s resting on her back, one hand behind her head, the other on her stomach, staring at the ceiling. 

It’s like she’s scared to look at Dinah. 

“Is this okay?” Dinah asks quietly, afraid to break their silence. 

Laurel turns her head just enough to look at her, her eyes gentle, “Yes, definitely. Thank you.” 

“Thank _you_.” 

“For?” 

Dinah shrugs lamely, realizing it looks a bit weird in the position she’s in, “For not being freaked out about sharing a bed with me, I guess.” 

This makes Laurel turn towards her fully, now rolling onto her side so she can look at Dinah properly. They’re closer now, nearly touching. Dinah’s hands are clutched together under her chin, holding onto her pillow. She’s surprised by how relaxed Laurel looks.

“I could never be freaked out by that, Dinah.” 

“No?” 

Dinah knows she sounds vulnerable. But how can she not be when she’s in bed with the woman she has feelings for? Something about being in the dark together, in the safeness of her room, makes Dinah want to open up. 

“Of course not. It’s you.” Laurel’s voice is soft when she speaks.

“Oh.” 

Dinah’s hand tentatively moves from where it was gripping her pillow, all the way to where Laurel’s hand is resting on the mattress in between them. Her finger makes contact with Laurel’s skin and for a second Dinah wants to pull back immediately. But then Laurel exhales and shuffles closer, her hand turning to grab Dinah’s, and Dinah can finally let herself relax. 

“This is not going to make things weird between us, right?” Laurel asks, then. 

Dinah’s not sure what she means. “What?” 

“Just, you know. Us sharing a bed. I don’t want you to feel like you _had_ to let me sleep here just because my back is hurting.” Laurel admits, hand tensing in Dinah’s hold. “Because that _is_ the only reason you asked me up here, right?”

“Laurel,” Dinah says, voice trembling. She never wanted Laurel to think this was a pity thing. “I asked because I wanted to. I want to-”

Dinah doesn’t finish her sentence, fear clawing its way up her throat. She can’t even handle looking at Laurel as she thinks about what she was just about to confess. She shouldn’t talk when she’s this sleepy. She shouldn’t even be allowed to think. Dinah can’t believe she was even considering risking it all.

But then there’s a soft hand on her face, automatically guiding Dinah’s gaze back up to meet Laurel’s. There’s an understanding look in the other woman’s eyes and it’s making Dinah incredibly nervous. 

“You want to, what?” 

And it’s said so softly, so quietly, that Dinah almost thinks she imagined it. But then she still feels Laurel’s fingers on her cheek, her thumb stroking her skin just enough so Dinah can feel it. Laurel is still looking at her as if Dinah is holding all the answers. And Dinah speaks before she can think any better of it. 

“I want to have you here. With me.” 

Laurel’s hand stills on Dinah’s face, the weight of it grounding Dinah more than she thought was possible. For a second Dinah thinks Laurel is going to pull away, but she doesn’t. In fact, she only shuffles closer. So close Dinah can feel her body heat. She hopes it’s a good sign that Laurel didn’t move away. 

“Good.” Laurel says, eyes closing for a moment as she smiles. “Because I want to be here. With you.” 

Dinah’s not completely sure what it means, but the look on Laurel’s face doesn’t leave too much to the imagination. The air becomes thick around them, Dinah now highly aware of Laurel’s hand moving to cup the back of her head, her fingers tangling in Dinah’s curls. It’s so intimate and gentle that Dinah almost forgets it’s _Laurel_ who’s being this soft with her. 

“Why do you think I came to 2040?” Laurel asks, then. 

Dinah doesn’t know where she’s going with this. “To save Bianca? To save Star City?” 

Laurel chuckles dryly, shaking her head. “D, please. I couldn’t care less about Star City. Or Bianca.” 

Dinah knows that’s not completely true. Laurel cares more than she lets on. Dinah thinks Laurel is one of the people that cares most in this world. She’s just been hurt too many times to let herself be vulnerable. To show people that she cares. Except maybe around Dinah. 

“Then why?” 

“Come on, Dinah.” Laurel mutters, fingers digging into the back of Dinah’s neck, as if she’s grounding herself. “You know why. Please don’t make me say it.” 

And maybe Dinah does know. Maybe she was hoping to know. Because why else would Laurel travel twenty years into the future? It’s not like she was close to Oliver or that they had the best friendship. The only reason she can think of for Laurel to go to this length that keeps popping into Dinah’s mind is… her. Laurel came looking for _her_. 

“Me?” 

Laurel doesn’t say anything, just nods. Her grip on Dinah is soft, yet determined, and Dinah feels herself melt in Laurel’s arms. She wants nothing more than to just curl into Laurel, wrap her arms around her and hold her until the morning comes. But then a soft laugh escapes Laurel’s lips and Dinah is pulled out of her daydream. 

“You.” Laurel says after a moment of silence. “It’s always been you, D.” 

The hand on Dinah’s neck feels like it’s burning into her skin now and it’s setting Dinah’s whole body on fire. She reaches for Laurel, but her hand doesn’t get far before it latches onto Laurel’s waist under the covers. Dinah doesn’t waste another breath before closing the space between them and then she kisses Laurel. It’s soft and quick and nothing like Dinah ever imagined their first kiss would be, but she can feel Laurel smiling against her lips and Laurel’s fingers softly tugging at her hair. 

Dinah hates when Laurel pulls back, but she’s relieved when she doesn’t move away. Their noses touching, breaths hitting each other’s faces as they laugh softly. Dinah doesn’t think she’s ever been this happy. If she knew inviting Laurel into her bed would lead to this, to falling asleep all wrapped up in each other’s arms, she would’ve done it a long time ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> our hearts melted while writing this. we feel like there's such a soft side to them and we hope to see it when (not if. when.) green arrow & the canaries gets picked up! 
> 
> please leave a comment/kudo if you liked it. we appreciate you all taking the time to let us know your thoughts! it's very much appreciated. 
> 
> find us on Twitter if you want:  
> Imke (@mrsavalance)  
> Ell (@dinahhdrake)  
> or with the tag #LoveHer100Ways.
> 
> see you in a few days, guys! 
> 
> stay home. stay safe and take care of yourself and your loved ones. <3


	5. if you wanted to (we can cross that line)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You want one of my old jerseys?” Sara asks, brows furrowed in confusion, “To wear to the game?”
> 
> “Yeah.”
> 
> _or_
> 
> the one where ava asks for sara's jersey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY AVALANCE DAY!
> 
> we promise today's chapter is a lot happier than last week's. it's a high school au, because we're all a sucker for those, aren't we! that being said, neither of us know anything about how the american school system works, so we're just winging it in this one. 
> 
> we hope you like it. 
> 
> happy reading <3
> 
> • title from feelings by lauv.

**"It looks good on you."** \- _Avalance_

“Hey Ava, hold up!” Sara jogs through Star City High’s hallway as she tries to catch up with Ava. 

The taller blonde turns around, a wide smile on her face, as she notices her new best friend making her way over to her. Moving from Fresno to Star City in the middle of summer had been kind of hard on Ava at first. It was not something she had looked forward to, having to change schools right before her junior year. Thankfully, Ava was smart enough that she didn’t have too much trouble with her classes. She had even done a little extra work during the summer to make sure she wouldn’t fall behind on anything. Now she was actually ahead of everyone else in most of her classes.

But where she was blessed in the academics part of her high school career, Ava had struggled a bit more with the making friends part. At her last school she wasn’t exactly seen as the most popular kid, far from it, but Ava had liked it that way. Plus she had Gary, the boy from next door who had been Ava’s childhood best friend since they were four. Still, leaving her only friend behind in Fresno had been kind of hard on Ava. 

On top of that she had also been a little scared that she wouldn’t find anyone willing to hang out with her once she would start at Star City High. But thankfully the girl that was making her way over to her, Sara Lance, one of the more popular kids in school, had taken a liking to her. And they became fast friends.

“Sara. Hey.” 

“Hi.” Sara smiles that bright beautiful smile of hers. The one that makes Ava weak in the knees every time. 

“Are you off to practice?” Ava asks, motioning to the sports bag Sara is carrying.

“Oh no, I just finished. I was actually on my way home when I saw you. Where are those books taking you, Sharpe?” Sara asks teasingly, referring to the stack of books in Ava’s arms.

“I was just about to drop them off in my locker actually. Do you wanna walk with me, maybe?” Ava asks shyly.

And Sara easily agrees, that same smile still on her face. Ava tries her best to not stare, to not be obvious about how she feels whenever Sara smiles at her. It’s a bit of a struggle.

“How was practice?” Ava asks as they start walking further down the hallway. 

“Practice was okay. Coach Hunter gets off on torturing us, though. He made us run three extra laps because of some dumb comment Charlie made about his hair. I swear, I love them, but the kid has no idea when they need to shut up.”

“Sounds rough.”

“It was alright. Coach just wants us to be prepared for the first game of the season this Saturday, so he’s a little more tense than usual.”

They quickly arrive at Ava’s locker and as she reaches to open the door, she tries her best to not let her books drop to the floor. It’s not easy, but then Sara seems to notice her struggling, because she carefully reaches for the stack of books clutched into Ava’s arms.

“Here, let me help.” Sara offers as she takes the books from Ava.

“Thanks.” Ava says with a grateful smile. 

She swiftly opens the locker, feeling grateful for Sara’s help, and takes the books back from Sara before carefully storing them away. When she looks up from her locker, she sees Sara looking at her, bottom lip between her teeth. Something Ava has learned the smaller blonde only does when she’s nervous.

Ava raises her eyebrow in question. “What is it?” 

Sara seems to hesitate. The smile on her face is no longer confident like it was before, it’s smaller and softer, but it still has the same effect on Ava. She’s rarely seen Sara like this, though. Sara always seems so sure of herself. So confident.

“Uh. I was just thinking,” Sara starts, “Would you maybe want to come to my game this Saturday?” 

Her voice sounds a little unsure, like she’s scared Ava is going to consider saying anything but yes. As if Ava could ever tell her anything but yes. 

“You mean to your soccer game?”

Sara nods, nervously toying with her hands in front of her. “Yeah.”

“I’d love to come to your game, Sara.” Ava admits.

The smile that appears on Sara’s face afterwards is the biggest reward Ava could ever ask for. There’s no longer trace of Sara being nervous, or scared to ask a question. She’s all big smiles and sparkly eyes and Ava loves it. 

“You would?” Sara asks, hopeful.

“Of course.” Ava says, her gut twisting unpleasantly as her next words escape her throat, “That’s what friends are for, right?”

Sara’s voice sounds a bit tight when she replies, her smile slightly diminishing. “Right.” 

Ava closes her locker and locks it, relishing in the feeling of not having to carry so many heavy books anymore. She should really learn how to plan better so she doesn’t end up having to carry them all at once. 

It’s only when she’s about to suggest they go home that Ava remembers something they used to do back in Fresno. It’s probably stupid and she doesn’t even know for sure if they have the same tradition here, but the words spill out of her mouth before she can think any better of it.

“Would you be able to give me one of your old jerseys? You know, for the game?” Ava asks.

She can see that the question throws Sara off a little. She probably did not see that coming. It only makes Ava feel even more stupid, because they most likely don’t do this here, but she’d feel bad for not asking. 

“You want one of my old jerseys?” Sara asks, brows furrowed in confusion, “To wear to the game?”

“Yeah.”

Sara’s expression seems to soften back into a smile, “Uh, yeah. Sure. I can bring you one tomorrow?”

Ava lets out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. Perhaps Star City High does have the same traditions as her school in Fresno. Ava feels less stupid for asking now. The feeling of insecurity makes room for excitement as she starts thinking about cheering Sara on for her game this Saturday.

“Yes, perfect. I’m so excited about this, Sara. I can’t wait to see you play.” Ava’s entire face lights up in excitement.

“I know, Aves. I can’t wait either. It’s going to be great.”

Ava starts steering them away from her locker, back towards the entrance of the school. No matter how much she loves chatting with Sara, she should probably get home soon. Still, it’s like Sara doesn’t want to say goodbye either, because she walks with Ava and doesn’t even acknowledge where they are going. As if in doing so she already has to say goodbye for the day. 

“Are the others going as well?” Ava asks, referring to the group of friends she has gathered thanks to Sara at Star City High.

“Yes, of course. We always go to each other’s games,” Sara replies, “Also, if you want I can ask Amaya and Jax to pick you up? And maybe afterwards we can all go for some milkshakes together at Pete’s?” 

“I can take my car, it’s fine. Thank you. But the milkshakes sound great.” Ava says. She won’t admit it but all she got from that was that she’s going to get milkshakes with Sara. 

There’s a mischievous glint in Sara’s eyes when she looks at Ava, still smiling. “It’s a date, then.”

Ava can’t help but feel her stomach flutter at the way Sara is looking at her. A date? Ava thinks about it for a second. She knows the others will be joining them, but for a moment Ava lets her mind wander about it really being a date between the two of them, and she figures she wouldn’t hate the idea. 

She feels like an idiot as she stands there, grinning, “It’s a date.”

They stare at each other for a while too long, but then Sara seems to shake herself out of the trance they found themselves in and links her arm through Ava’s. She tugs her out of the building to their cars as she animatedly talks about the soccer game and what Ava should pay attention to. Ava tries to listen, but all she can think about is _it’s a date, it’s a date, it’s a date_. 

Before Ava realizes it’s Saturday and she’s getting ready for the game. She’s been wearing Sara’s jersey ever since she came out of the shower and she almost hates how natural it feels to wear something of Sara’s. Everytime she walks past her mirror, she can’t help but pause for a second to admire herself in the mirror. Feeling butterflies in her stomach everytime she reads the name _Lance_ boldly written on the back. 

It’s only when Sara texts her, asking her if she’s going to be there on time, that Ava realizes she needs to get a move on.

She’d hate herself if she’d be late. 

Ava quickly swipes her hair up in a high ponytail, a few strands falling down her face. She could do it again, but she decides to leave it. She hopes it looks cute. That Sara thinks she looks cute. As she puts on her shoes, Ava can’t help but feel a bit nervous. She’s really about to see Sara play her first game of the school year. Or, for Ava, the first game ever. 

The drive towards school isn’t long, but still Ava feels like it’s taking ages to get there. She’s still got some time, the game’s not about to start for another 45 minutes, yet Ava feels like time is running out. As she gets to the parking lot, she quickly parks her car as close to the field as she can. 

Ava is pleased to see more people walking around in jerseys. So maybe this is a thing here. It settles Ava’s nerves a bit.

She makes her way over to the bleachers, scanning the crowd for her friends. She’s unable to spot them, but who she does see is Sara. She’s on the field, stretching, but it’s as if she can feel Ava looking at her. It only takes a second for Sara to look up and meet her gaze, a beautiful smile blooming on her face as she sees Ava. She motions for Ava to come over. 

As she reaches the fence Sara meets her there, seemingly excited and full of energy. It’s making Ava’s heart swell in her chest. She looks adorable. 

“Are you ready?” Ava asks. 

Sara nods, “Definitely. Especially now that you’re here.”

Ava feels herself blush at that. It doesn’t help when Sara glances at the jersey Ava is currently wearing. It almost feels like Sara is checking her out and Ava doesn’t know what to do, or how to feel, under Sara’s gaze. But then Sara looks up, a soft smile on her face, and she reaches for Ava’s hand that’s resting on the fence. 

“It looks good on you.” Sara says gently, as if she’s scared to admit it. 

Ava smiles, maybe a bit bashful, “Thank you.” 

“I bet your boyfriend was totally freaking out when you supported him like this during his games.” Sara says, looking at Ava as if she’s gauging her reaction. 

Ava can’t help the disgust showing on her face at Sara’s words, but she doesn’t hate it when it makes the other girl laugh. She shakes her head, then. 

“I’m not really the boyfriend type, actually. So. Yeah.” 

She doesn’t know why it took her until now to come out to Sara. It’s not like she tried to hide it and she’s actually pretty sure that Sara already knows, but it still feels weird to tell her like this. As if Sara will stop being her friend. As if Sara hasn’t talked to Ava about Nyssa, one of Sara’s team members that she used to date last year. 

But Sara doesn’t seem fazed by the fact that she likes girls, because she just squeezes Ava’s hand and smiles. “Well, then I guess I’m the lucky one.” 

Ava glances at their hands, Sara’s hand feeling strong and secure on top of her own. “I guess so, yeah.” 

With another squeeze of her hand, Sara steps back. “I should get going. I’ll see you afterwards?” 

“Definitely. Milkshakes, right?” 

Sara smiles at her, dimples showing on her cheeks. “Milkshakes.” 

Ava follows her lead and takes a step back, waving at Sara and wishing her good luck before the other girl spins around and runs across the field to her teammates. Ava catches herself staring at Sara for a while, before she decides to go find their friends. 

She looks around again, now easily spotting them all the way in the back. She sprints up the stairs and is greeted by their loud voices and laughter. They all say hello and force her to sit down in between Zari and Nate. It’s easy to fall into conversation with them. It was a bit weird at first, because Ava felt like an intruder, but soon she realized that she actually got along quite well with the group. Especially with Zari and Ray’s girlfriend Nora. 

It doesn’t take long for the game to start and, in all honesty, Ava has no idea what’s going on. She has to ask Nate and Jax every few minutes what’s happening, or why the referee blew his whistle, but soccer means a lot to Sara and Sara means a lot to Ava, so she wants to know everything. 

She’s fully into the game, until someone pokes her side with their elbow. Ava turns her head to look at Zari, frowning when she sees the other girl’s excited smile. 

“What?” 

Zari grins cheekily, “So. You and Sara, huh?” 

“What about me and Sara?” 

“You’re wearing her jersey.” Zari says as if that’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

Ava’s frown deepens. She has no idea where Zari is going with this. “Yes, and?” 

Zari rolls her eyes at her. “Are you two finally dating?” 

Ava feels like her heart is about to give out on her. Is she being so obvious about the way she feels about Sara? Is it so obvious that she likes her? Even to Sara’s friends? She can’t believe she was this careless. Fair, Ava doesn’t think she’s ever felt this way about anyone before, but she could’ve been more careful. Because if Zari knows then Sara probably knows, too. And if she does, then everything is ruined. Ava can’t believe she finally found a group of friends she is comfortable with, and who love having her around, only for it all to come crashing down on her again because of a stupid crush.

It’s only when Zari speaks again that Ava is pulled out of her spiraling thoughts. 

“It’s just that Sara won’t stop talking about you. Like, ever. And now you’re wearing her jersey, so.” 

Wait. What? Sara won’t stop talking about her? She looks back at Zari, her head tilted in question. She’s not sure she wants to know the answer to her question, but she asks it anyway. 

“She won’t stop talking about me?” 

Zari laughs softly, “Never. She talks about you all the time.” 

“Oh.” 

“Why? Didn’t you know that?” 

Ava shakes her head. She feels like an idiot. “No. No. I, uh, we’re not together or anything. I guess.” 

“You guess?” 

“I mean- No. We’re not.” 

Zari seems to be a bit taken aback by that. “Okay. Then forget I said anything.” 

Ava just nods, but wonders how she could forget about any of it. Sara has been talking about her? What does it mean? Does that mean she likes Ava, too? Why else would she talk about her? Or maybe Sara just talks about all of her friends? No, that can’t be it right? Zari specifically said she talks about Ava all the time, not Nate, not Ray or Charlie or any of their other friends. No, just her. Ava feels like her head’s about to explode. 

She struggles focusing on the rest of the game. She’s watching, yes, but her eyes search for Sara more often than not. And when she finds her, she can’t help but think about what it all means. The jersey she’s wearing suddenly feels like it’s burning into her skin. As if it means all these things that Ava didn’t know. 

She’s glad when the game ends. Maybe she can get some answers now, if she has the guts to ask the questions that have been racing through her mind. She figures she should start with Zari. So when everyone starts to make their way down the bleachers, Ava grabs Zari’s arm and holds her back. 

“Wait a second, please?” 

Zari seems a bit confused, but she waits anyway. She tells the others to go ahead and wait by the cars and they all seem happy to oblige. However, Ava feels like she’s suffocating. 

“What’s up?” Zari asks. 

Ava sighs, deciding to just get it over with, “Why did you ask if Sara and I were finally dating?” 

Zari’s eyes widen, as if she only now realizes what she said earlier. “What do you mean?” 

“You acted like me wearing her jersey is a sign of us dating.” 

“Because it… is? That’s literally what it means when you wear someone else’s jersey to their game.” Zari points to her own jersey, “Why do you think I’m wearing Charlie’s?”

And. _Oh_. That’s why Sara made that boyfriend comment.

Ava nods and ends up excusing herself. She needs to find Sara. She needs to ask what this means and she needs to know if she’s alone in this. She passes their friends who are leaning against Mick’s truck, laughing about something, but she doesn’t pay them any mind. She goes straight to the field. Sara was there just a minute ago. 

And there she is. Running another lap of the field to let her muscles calm down. The lap is followed by some more stretches and it’s only when she’s finished that her eyes find Ava’s again. Ava feels like her heart is going to jump out of her chest. 

Sara jogs over to her again, “Hey, Aves.”

“Hey. You were great out there.” 

“You think so?” 

Ava nods, “I do. You were amazing. Congratulations on winning.” 

Sara’s lips tug up in a small smirk, “That’s thanks to you, though. I told you I was the lucky one.” 

Ava is suddenly reminded of why she’s here. Of what she was about to do. Sara must notice her shift of demeanor, because she quickly makes her way to Ava’s side of the fence until she’s right next to her. 

“Did you have a good time?” 

Ava nods, not quite sure how to start the conversation she desperately wants to have right now. “I did, yes. I didn’t really understand everything, but Nate and Jax explained most of it to me. Or they tried to at least.” 

“I’m glad you had a good time, Aves.” 

“Yeah, me too.” 

They stare at each other for a moment, Sara a little out of breath from the game, but still that cute smile on her face. It seems like time stands still, both of them lost in a trance as they just stand there. Ava almost forgets what’s been plaguing her mind the past hour, but then she pulls herself out of it.

“Can we talk?” 

Ava knows the shift in conversation is sudden. But she feels like an avalanche of words are about to spill from her lips and she’s not sure she wants them to spill right here, in the middle of a crowd, where everyone can hear them if they were paying a bit of attention. 

Sara frowns. “Sure? I’ll just go get changed quickly?” 

Ava tries to hide her disappointment in having to wait any longer to have this conversation, so she just nods, “Okay. Yeah.” 

Sara rubs her shoulder and rushes over towards the dressing room. Maybe Sara doesn’t want to have this conversation, maybe that’s why she rushed off? Ava feels like an idiot. She can still change her mind, right? She doesn’t have to ask Sara what it all means. She can just pretend she forgot what she wanted to talk about and move on with her day. But then Zari’s words play on a loop in her head and Ava groans. 

The people around her slowly make their way home, or to the cafeteria, leaving Ava by herself. She leans against the fence, toying with the hem of Sara’s jersey. It’s a bit short on her, since Ava’s taller than her, but it fits her nonetheless. Ava likes the way it looks on her. She likes knowing that it’s Sara’s. And even though apparently it wasn’t really a thing to just randomly wear your friend’s jersey to a game at Star City High, Ava finds that she doesn’t want to take it off. Because maybe she wants Sara to be more than just her friend.

She doesn’t know how long she’s waiting, but when she hears rushed footsteps coming her way she looks up. Sara’s hair is still damp from her shower and she’s wearing Ava’s hoodie. Ava doesn’t even remember giving it to her. There’s a tentative smile on Sara’s face as she comes to a halt in front of Ava. The sleeves of her hoodie are too long for her arms and Ava thinks it’s adorable. 

“Sorry it took so long. I told the others to go ahead without us.” 

Ava nods. “That’s okay. Can we sit?” 

Sara leads the way back to the bleachers, close to where Ava was seated earlier. Ava sits down next to Sara and her nerves immediately multiply by a hundred. She notices that Sara is tugging at her sleeves, as if she knows what this is about. It makes Ava wonder if Sara is feeling as nervous as she is. 

“What do you want to talk about?” Sara asks, looking up at Ava. She’s blushing slightly. 

Ava doesn’t know how to start. Or where to start. What is she supposed to say? Because what if she’s wrong and what if Sara doesn’t feel the same way? It’s all so confusing and Ava almost wishes Zari would’ve just kept her mouth shut. Sara seems to notice her hesitation.

“What’s going on, Aves?” 

Ava can’t help but chuckle softly, “It’s stupid.” 

“I’m sure it’s not.” 

Ava looks at her then, their eyes finding each other. It’s like all her nerves dissipate immediately. She always feels so secure with Sara, it’s crazy. It’s like she doesn’t have a care in the world anymore. 

“You know,” Ava starts, “back in Fresno it’s a common thing to wear your friend’s jersey to their game. But apparently here it isn’t.” 

Sara frowns. “What do you mean?” 

Ava shakes her head to herself. “Zari asked if we were dating. Because apparently that’s what it means when you wear someone else’s jersey here.” 

Sara’s eyes widen, a blush slowly coloring her cheeks. “Oh.” 

Silence falls over them as Sara stares at her hands, not meeting Ava’s gaze in the slightest. Ava decides to give her a minute. She knows she sprung this on her. But then she can’t stop herself. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that when I asked for yours?” 

Sara looks at her, then. She looks shy and nervous and nothing like Ava is used to. But it’s cute. It’s so adorable that Ava almost pouts- that she almost feels bad for asking. She just really wants to know. 

“I- I don’t know. I guess I just liked the thought of you in my jersey.” Sara’s voice is soft and fragile, like she is scared to speak the words out loud. Scared of what they’ll mean now that she had admitted them in front of Ava.

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

Ava hesitates, but then, “Okay.” 

“Okay?” 

“Yeah. It’s, uh, it’s fine. I know what it means now.”

They sit in silence for a beat, neither one of them speaking. Ava wonders if perhaps it’s more about what isn’t being said in this moment that counts.

“Do you want me to take it off?” Ava eventually asks, her voice is soft. Like she is scared what Sara’s answer is gonna be. What it means. Her eyes drop to the floor, so she doesn’t have to see Sara’s reaction

“No.” Sara admits, making Ava look up from the floor, her eyes wide as they lock with Sara’s, “No. I don’t want you to take it off.”

“What does that mean?” Ava asks quietly.

“What do you want it to mean?”

Ava feels her heartbeat pick up. She knows what she wants it to mean, but she wants Sara to say what _she_ wants it to mean. Ava wants to be sure before she risks the most important friendship she has. Ever since her and Sara started getting closer in Ava’s first weeks in Star City she’s been falling hard for the other girl and now that they’re finally here, finally having this conversation, Ava is not sure what she’ll do if Sara’s not there to catch her.

Ava’s worries ease a little when Sara shuffles closer to her so that they’re closer together. She feels, rather than sees, Sara take a deep breath before she reaches out to hold Ava’s hand and intertwines their fingers carefully. Her voice is soft when she speaks.

“Aves, do you want to take the jersey off?”

“Stop repeating my questions back to me.” Ava complains, a small whine escaping from her mouth. 

Sara seems to consider it for a second, but then gives Ava’s hand a soft squeeze, as if she’s encouraging Ava to speak. To tell her the truth. “Please, Ava. I need to know if you want to take my jersey off.” 

Ava still can’t seem to find her voice. It seems like such a dumb and simple question, yet it feels like so much more. It takes all of Ava’s strength to shake her head. Because _no_ , she doesn’t want to take Sara’s jersey off. She likes the way it feels. Especially now that she knows exactly what it means.

Apparently It’s all the confirmation Sara needs, because she lets go of Ava’s hand only to gently reach up to cup both sides of her face. And, oh. _Oh_. 

“Good.” 

It’s more of a whisper than anything else, yet it sends a shiver down Ava’s spine. It’s only when Sara leans in closer that Ava realizes what’s about to happen. She feels like her body is taking over from her mind, because she can feel herself lean in before thinking better of it. Ava meets her halfway and then their lips finally touch. It’s soft and gentle, almost too gentle, yet neither of them feels bold enough to take it further. 

Ava’s heart is racing and she’s scared it’s about to beat out of her chest, afraid Sara can hear it beating. But she doesn’t think she’s ever felt lighter than right now. Because Sara’s here. She caught her.

When Sara breaks the kiss, Ava’s eyes open slowly to find Sara looking at her with sparkles in her eyes and the biggest smile Ava has ever seen on her face. Ava feels like she’s floating. She’s holding onto Sara like a lifeline, gripping onto her shoulders as they breathe each other in. Sara’s hands are still gentle on her face. 

“Hey.” Sara whispers softly.

“H-” Ava starts, but before the word has fully left her mouth, Sara’s kissing her again.

Her lips softly move against her own once again, taking Ava’s breath away in an instant. When she woke up this morning she never would’ve expected the afternoon to end like this. When Sara pulls her closer Ava can’t help but let a soft whimper escape her lips, giving Sara the chance to deepen the kiss. 

This time it’s Ava who breaks their kiss, feeling a little overwhelmed. She leans her forehead against Sara’s, not ready to let her go yet, as she tries to catch her breath. She thinks she could kiss Sara for hours.

“That was-”

Sara sighs happily, “Yeah.”

“We just-”

“Yeah.”

Ava can’t help but laugh softly as she looks at Sara. She can’t believe they just kissed. She can’t believe Sara likes her, too. It almost feels like a dream. But then she can feel Sara leaning into her, holding onto her, and the tingling of her lips from their kiss and Ava just laughs. 

“So, does this mean you’ll be wearing my jersey again next week?” Sara asks, a playful smile on her lips.

Ava feels herself blush, but she finds she doesn’t care. “I’d love to.”

“Me too.” Sara says before placing another quick peck on her lips. It’s over all too soon and nothing like the soft kiss they shared before. 

“Come on, _girlfriend_.” Sara says with a wink, before standing up and reaching out her hand for Ava to take. “The others are waiting for us.” 

And Ava interlocks their fingers without a doubt in her mind. 

As they walk their hands sway in between them, their fingers interlocked the entire way to the parking lot. Ava can’t stop herself from smiling. She can’t believe this just happened. Sara kissed her and called Ava her girlfriend. She’s Sara Lance’s girlfriend now. And the entire school already knows, because of the big bold five letters on her back. Ava never wants to take her jersey off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> told you it was happier! 
> 
> we wouldn't put you through another dose of angst so soon. but we'll have more of that, no worries. 
> 
> anyways, we hope you liked this chapter. feel free to leave a kudo/comment if you did. we love hearing your thoughts <3
> 
> thank you for reading and for making us feel so appreciated. we love your support and encouragement so much. 
> 
> feel free to find us on Twitter:  
> Imke (@mrsavalance)  
> Ell (@dinahhdrake)  
> or use the tag #LoveHer100Ways ! 
> 
> see you on Sunday <3 
> 
> stay home. stay safe. take care of yourself and your loved ones.


	6. i like you (the way you are)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurel hates horror movies. Absolutely can’t stand them. But she knows that if she admits that out loud, she’ll never hear the end of it. Besides, Dinah seems to be really into this movie and Laurel doesn’t want to ruin that in any way. What if Dinah doesn’t think she’s fun anymore after figuring out Laurel hates horror movies? Honestly, how bad could it really be?
> 
> _or_
> 
> the one where dinah and laurel ditch movie night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS DINAHSIREN DAY AGAIN !!! 
> 
> today we've decided to hit you with college fluff! it's so much fun to experiment with these characters and get inside their heads. we're so used to seeing them wanting to kill each other in canon that it's just the best thing to discover all these other possible aspects of them. 
> 
> also, again we want to thank everyone for leaving a kudo/comment and for telling us what they think. it's always nice to read everything and see your reactions. we hope you like today's chapter as much as we do. 
> 
> happy reading <3
> 
> • title from Complicated by Avril Lavigne.

**“What do you want to watch?”** \- _Dinahsiren_

“Dinah and Curtis are here!” Felicity announces as she walks into the living room, followed by the two said friends.

“Finally.” Rene grunts under his breath.

“Took you long enough.” Oliver adds. 

“Oh, hush, Oliver. We’re not that late.” Dinah says, throwing him a dirty look.

They’re greeted with cheers and simple hello’s, but all Laurel can muster up is a soft smile to send Dinah’s way. The other girl smiles back. Felicity, Curtis and Laurel all shift to make some room for Dinah to join them on the couch. Dinah sends them a grateful smile before sitting down in between Curtis and Laurel, accepting the now lukewarm beer the blonde is holding out for her.

“Don’t worry, D,” Laurel reassures her, “Oliver is just being a little bit of an extra prick tonight. It’s his turn to pick the movie.”

It’s Wednesday night, and therefore time for their weekly movie night. It’s a tradition the eight of them started a few weeks ago, looking for a way to wind down. To get some down time together, to relax and chill in between the madness of their classes and outside of all the parties they frequent on the weekends.

They’re usually hosted at the apartment Oliver, Diggle, Felicity and Laurel rent off campus for the year, simply because it has the most space to fit all of them in. It’s nothing special. Just their group of friends and some snacks, drinks and a movie picked by whoever’s turn it is to pick what they’re gonna watch that night. But they’ve all come to cherish these nights together.

“In that case,” Dinah mocks, turning to Oliver, “My apologies for keeping you waiting, your Highness.” 

“Okay, enough chit-chat. We’re all finally here,” Rene intervenes. “What are we watching?”

“Oliver picked out some horror movie for tonight. He won’t shut up about it.” Diggle informs them.

“It’s supposed to be _the_ horror movie of the century.” Layla mocks, not sounding convinced in the slightest..

“It is!” Oliver chimes in. “You all just wait and see.”

Laurel can feel her blood run cold. Of course he picked a horror movie. Of-fucking-course. He won’t let Laurel have anything. Her eyes scan the room quickly and she’s annoyed to find everyone seemingly excited about this. How great. 

“Anything will be better than what Felicity picked last week.” Dinah complains, pulling Laurel out of her thoughts.

“Hey,” Felicity says, slightly offended. “That movie was a classic and you _know_ it!”

“If you say so, babe.” Dinah teases with a wink, before she takes a sip of her beer. 

Laurel can’t help but look at her and notice how pretty she looks. Her eyes wander to Dinah’s lips as she takes a swig from the bottle and she can’t, for the love of God, tear her gaze away. But then Curtis pipes up with some comment about how last week’s movie was sickening and Felicity takes the bait. They all start arguing after that. Talking about last week's movie and whether or not it was good or absolutely horrendous. But Laurel can’t be bothered. She actually thinks last week’s movie was cute, but she won’t say that out loud. 

“Laurel, you seem awfully quiet.” Layla remarks, a little concerned at the other girl’s lack of involvement.

The rest of the group falls quiet after that. They were too caught up in their bickering to notice that Laurel wasn’t joining in, which wasn’t normally like the otherwise loud and opinionated girl. 

“Just waiting for the kids to quiet down so we can watch this movie.” Laurel tells her, with a smile that isn’t quite reaching her eyes. 

That remark seems to get the attention of the rest of the group. Including Dinah, who looks at her as if she’s trying to figure her out. Dinah knows her better than anyone. Laurel wouldn’t have expected anything different than Dinah being able to see right through her.

“Laurel’s right. It’s time to watch the best movie ever. I heard people threw up when this hit the movie theatres because of how gross and detailed it is. Like, when the main character maims one of its victims and he later comes back to life and the killer makes him eat his own limbs. And, oh, also-”

“Okay, okay. Stop spoiling the entire movie already and let's just put it on, shall we?” Laurel interrupts, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

“Yes, sit down and prepare for the most gruesome 2 hours of your lives.” Oliver beams in excitement.

Laurel watches how Diggle gets up to start the movie. Meanwhile Felicity is dimming the lights and as soon as the movie starts playing the room quiets down. Laurel thinks she’d rather do anything else than watch this movie.

Laurel turns more pale with each passing scene. She’s thankful for the fact that the room is dark, apart from the light coming from the television in front of them, so she doubts anyone can really tell. They’re all too caught up in what is happening on the screen to be paying attention to anything else. Or anyone else. 

Laurel hates horror movies. Absolutely can’t stand them. But she knows that if she admits that out loud, she’ll never hear the end of it. Besides, Dinah seems to be really into this movie and Laurel doesn’t want to ruin that in any way. What if Dinah doesn’t think she’s fun anymore after figuring out Laurel hates horror movies? Honestly, how bad could it really be?

But it turns out things got really bad, really soon. They’re only about 20 minutes into the movie and Laurel already wishes she could be anywhere else but here. Oliver wasn’t lying when he said this was one of the most gruesome movies he had ever watched. Laurel wonders why he wanted to watch it again with all of them if he’d already seen it. But according to the excited sounds coming from Diggle, Curtis and Rene they all really dig this movie. Even Felicity and Dinah seem to be fascinated by it. And Laurel can, for the love of it, not figure out why. It’s awful. It makes her stomach do weird and disgusting twists.

Laurel tries to keep herself busy with her beer bottle, trying to distract herself by focussing on anything but the screen in front of her. She looks up at the screen every so often, as to not give the impression she’s not watching the movie at all. But, luckily for her, Dinah is sat down right next to her on the couch and Laurel allows herself to look at her from time to time. 

Dinah seems really into the movie and perhaps that is one of the reasons why Laurel hasn’t left and gone to her room yet. She could easily make up a dumb excuse about an essay she still needs to write. But she also knows it wouldn’t work anyway. Movie nights are sacred to their friend group. They all agreed beforehand that they’d finish any of their college work either before or after movie night and that it is never a good enough excuse to cancel. With the exception of finals.

Felicity, Curtis, Dinah and Laurel are all crammed on the three seater sofa, meaning that Dinah’s leg is tightly pressed against her own and it’s all Laurel can think about. They’re sitting so close Laurel can smell her perfume and it’s absolutely intoxicating. Okay, so maybe this crush she has on Dinah is getting a little out of hand. And maybe she really wants Dinah to like her. So she will be damned if Dinah figures out she’s scared of a stupid horror movie.

It’s then that something jumps up in front of one of the characters and Laurel’s entire body tenses. God, she hates these movies. She genuinely doesn’t understand how anyone could love this kind of thing. How do you watch a movie like this and not be completely disgusted? Laurel will never get it.

“Oh my God! Did you guys see that? That was epic.” Diggle all but screams at the screen.

“That wasn’t even the best part. Just keep watching!” Oliver says excitedly, getting a few hushes thrown his way before the room grows silent again.

Laurel still feels extremely tense and it’s only when she tries to relax that she realizes that her hand is suddenly touching something very... soft. When she looks away from the screen she finds her hand resting on Dinah’s upper leg. Oh. Apparently her body likes to betray her when she’s scared out of her mind. 

Laurel figures that Dinah doesn’t notice her hand placement, or she simply doesn’t mind that Laurel is very much resting her hand on her thigh, because she doesn’t comment on it. Instead Laurel feels Dinah relax next to her, sinking further into the couch. 

Laurel can feel herself getting more nervous, her breathing getting a little heavier. She doesn’t know what to do. Because if she moves her hand she risks Dinah looking at her, most likely questioning how her hand ended up on her thigh in the first place. Laurel is not sure if she is ready to answer that question. Or if she even has an answer to that question that won’t completely make her look like a fool.

However, the longer her hand is on Dinah’s thigh the more Laurel feels like it’s on fire. Her skin feels hot, like it’s going to burn a hole into Dinah’s jeans. Yet she doesn’t want to move it. She likes how it feels. It’s almost like the soft touch grounds her in a way she so desperately needs right now.

They are over half an hour into the movie when another jump scare makes Laurel’s entire body go rigid. She doesn’t know why she chose _that_ moment to focus back on the movie, but she does know that the image will haunt her for days. She really dislikes Oliver for making her have to go through this. She doesn’t realize she’s breathing a bit faster until a soft voice whispers in her ear.

"Are you okay?" Dinah’s voice is so soft and comforting, it almost makes Laurel want to spill her guts. Because, no, she is not okay. This movie is so much worse than she could have imagined.

She quickly nods, not wanting to seem like a scaredy cat. She knows it’s just a movie and she knows none of it is real, but she still can’t help but be terrified. She must not seem convincing, though, because Dinah’s hand starts to cover her own that’s still resting on Dinah’s leg. So she _did_ realize that Laurel had put her hand there. _Great_. Laurel wishes the couch could swallow her whole.

“Hey, it’s just me.”

Laurel looks around her, and indeed it’s just them. The others are all too engrossed in the movie to pay them any attention, which Laurel feels grateful for. So when her eyes finally lock with Dinah’s again, those warm brown eyes looking back at her, Laurel can't stop herself from telling the truth.

"No. I hate scary movies." She whispers, averting her gaze from Dinah’s to look back at their hands.

"Oh,” Dinah mutters, “Really?" 

She seems a bit taken aback. Laurel gets it. She’s this tough girl with her leather jacket and leather pants, almost always a harsh expression on her face. She’s the very definition of badass. So she gets why this would shock Dinah at least a little bit.

Laurel can’t help but feel bad. "I'm sorry."

Dinah’s gaze softens, the hand that’s still on Laurel’s tightens its grip just a little bit. "Don't be,” she says, something shifting in her expression, “What do you want to watch?"

The question throws Laurel off, "What?"

"We'll get out of here,” Dinah whispers, smiling at her, “We can watch something you like instead."

Laurel looks at her like she’s crazy. As if they can just abandon their friends to go do their own thing? Laurel can already hear them all gossiping and teasing. 

It only takes a raise of Dinah’s eyebrow for Laurel to nod. She can’t help the butterflies fluttering in her stomach when Dinah grabs the hand that’s still on her thigh and interlocks their fingers, before standing up from the couch and automatically dragging Laurel along with her, not once letting go of her hand. 

They don’t get far before Felicity’s voice makes them come to a halt, confusedly looking between the two girls. “Wait, where are you two going?” 

Now everyone in the room is looking at them. Laurel can feel their gazes burn, yet Dinah never lets go of her hand. She only seems to be holding on tighter as their friends stare at them.

“You can’t just leave movie night, D. You know the rules.” Rene adds.

“Who cares,” Curtis says, stretching out in the spot previously occupied by Dinah and Laurel,  
“Look at all this legroom I suddenly have.” 

“But you haven’t even seen the best part yet,” Oliver whines.

“I don’t care.” Dinah says, addressing their friends before tugging on Laurel’s hand, “Come on.”

And Laurel can’t do anything but follow her. She is pretty sure she’d follow Dinah to the end of the Earth if the other girl asked her to, however cheesy that may sound. Dinah leads them back to Laurel’s room and the further away from the living room they get the more Laurel feels like she can breathe again. 

It’s only when they’ve closed Laurel’s bedroom door behind her that Dinah lets go of her hand. Laurel can feel the absence of Dinah’s touch down to her bones. She leans against her door for a second, not sure what to do. She didn’t really think this far ahead. She didn’t even think this would happen at all. All Laurel thought of was having to watch that movie until the very end, hating every second of it. But now here she is. In her room with Dinah. 

“So, what do you want to watch?” 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Laurel deflects, feeling guilty for dragging Dinah away from their friends and the movie she did seem to enjoy to watch. 

Dinah takes a small step closer, a frown on her face, “I know that, Laurel. But you were clearly not having a good time and I’d rather watch something entirely different with you than see you that uncomfortable for another minute.” 

Laurel’s not sure what to say to that, so she doesn’t say anything. She just smiles timidly at Dinah before brushing past her to grab her laptop. She doesn’t know what she wants to watch, but she figures keeping busy with trying to find something is better than staring lovingly at Dinah. 

Dinah, who’s making her way over to Laurel’s bed, patiently waiting for Laurel to join her with something to watch together. Laurel is struggling, because she knows what kind of things Dinah likes, but she’s not sure that Dinah will like what she likes. So she gives up and flops down next to Dinah, the laptop mindlessly thrown in front of them. 

“I don’t know what to pick.” 

Dinah chuckles softly, reaching for the laptop. “Maybe something funny?” 

Laurel just shrugs. She can’t think about anything else except Dinah sitting next to her, their arms brushing together as they sink back into the pillows on Laurel’s bed. Dinah puts the laptop on her lap, browsing through Netflix. They go over a few movies, but none of them really seem interesting enough. 

“How about this one? _Isn’t It Romantic_?” 

It’s the first romantic comedy that Dinah suggests and Laurel hates to admit that this movie has been on her watch list for quite a while. She’s just never gotten around to watching it. Dinah seems to notice her excitement, because before Laurel can even pretend to not like the idea Dinah has already clicked _play_. She puts the laptop back in front of them and gets comfortable next to Laurel. 

Laurel tries to focus on the movie, she really does. But whenever Dinah moves or breathes it sends a shiver down her spine and she can’t help but just want to be closer to her. That’s the only thing she liked about the horror movie Oliver picked out; it gave her a reason to be close to Dinah. 

Because now they’re sitting next to each other and their arms are touching, but Laurel doesn’t think it’s enough. She wants to put her hand back on Dinah’s thigh. She wants to hold her hand again. She just wants to be _closer_. 

So for the majority of the movie Laurel keeps thinking about how she can subtly change her position to be closer to Dinah, not really paying attention to the movie. And when the main characters in the movie kiss, Laurel can’t help but glance at Dinah out of the corner of her eye. She catches Dinah looking at her, but quickly looking down and away when she notices Laurel looking back. 

Laurel wonders how long Dinah had been looking at her before she caught her. She wonders if Dinah looks at her often. She wonders why. Her brain stops working when Dinah moves her hand until it’s softly resting against Laurel’s. She’s not holding it, but they’re touching and Laurel could grab Dinah’s hand if she wanted to. 

She wants to. 

But maybe it was an accident. Maybe Dinah didn’t mean to move her hand. Maybe she’s just so into the movie that she doesn’t realize what she’s doing. That’s probably it. Laurel shouldn’t torture herself with _what if’s_ and _maybe’s_. It’s just a misunderstanding. 

Only then Dinah wraps her pinky around Laurel’s, now obviously touching, and Laurel doesn’t know what to do. She feels like she’s frozen in time, as if she’s in a movie herself. But Laurel knows it’s not that simple. She won’t get the girl, not this time. Maybe Dinah just still feels bad for her and is trying to make her feel better. 

But then Dinah’s voice sounds quietly next to her ear, making Laurel realize she’s been fooling herself all this time. 

“This okay?” Dinah asks, tugging softly at Laurel’s hand. 

Laurel turns her head to look at Dinah, her cheeks tinted pink, not sure how to say yes without giving too much away. But then she notices the way Dinah is looking at her, the way her eyes are soft and scared and Laurel thinks that maybe she’s not as alone in this as she first thought. 

“Yeah,” 

Dinah swallows heavily, licking her lips as she looks at Laurel. It’s all it takes for Laurel to finally move her hand to link with Dinah’s, making a little smile appear on Dinah’s face. She squeezes Laurel’s hand before looking back to the laptop screen. Laurel can’t stop looking at her. 

They hold hands for the remainder of the movie, Laurel never once daring to move out of fear that Dinah will pull her hand away. She notices the way Dinah rubs the back of her hand with her thumb and she’s pleased to find out that it makes her feel incredibly calm. She’s already forgotten about the previous movie they were watching. 

When the credits roll Laurel can feel Dinah turn towards her again. Laurel takes a deep breath before looking back at her, suddenly feeling incredibly nervous because of how close they are. 

“Can I ask you something?” Dinah asks, her voice drowning out the song playing from Laurel’s laptop. 

Laurel knows nothing good ever comes of that question, but she finds herself unable to say no either way. So she just nods and unknowingly squeezes Dinah’s hand. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that you hate horror movies?” 

Oh. 

Laurel wasn’t expecting that question. She’s not sure what she was expecting, but it wasn’t this. She takes a moment to gather her thoughts, because what is she supposed to say? _I didn’t want to sound like a baby in front of you because I like you and I don’t want you to think I’m lame_? That’s not a thing she could ever say out loud. Especially not to Dinah. 

“I, uh, I just didn’t want to sound stupid.” Laurel says, immediately realizing she doesn’t sound convincing at all. “I didn’t want you to think any different of me.” 

“We would never think any different of you, Laurel.” Dinah reassures her, squeezing her hand once more. 

She shuffles on the bed so she can face Laurel more, their bodies now more angled towards one another. Laurel thinks she’s going to die. 

“I know. It’s stupid.” 

Dinah shakes her head, pulling their hands up towards her chest, now clutching Laurel’s hand in both of hers, “It’s not stupid. I just don’t understand why you would think we’d like you any less for liking different movies than us.”

Laurel seems to be in a trance, eyes locked on their hands, “Not- Not necessarily them.” 

It’s then that it clicks. Dinah’s eyes widen, for just a second, before setting back on Laurel. She lets their hands drop again, rubbing soft circles on Laurel’s hand with the one that’s not entangled with hers. 

“Me?” 

Laurel nods, figuring she’s already way past keeping her feelings a secret any longer. She thinks maybe she doesn’t have to anymore. Because Dinah is still holding her hand and she’s still looking at Laurel like she’s a work of art. Her hands feel clammy and she feels the urge to pull away out of Dinah’s grasp, but she doesn’t. 

“Why?” 

Laurel rolls her eyes to herself, as if it isn’t obvious. As if Dinah really needs her to spell it out for her. There’s a small smile on Dinah’s face, making Laurel realize that she just wants Laurel to say it. It eases Laurel’s worries enough to relax. 

“I just don’t want you to think I’m lame.” Laurel says through clenched teeth, as if it’s hard to admit. “I- I want you to _like_ me.” 

And Laurel hates admitting that, because she doesn’t like being dependent on other people. She hates needing other people’s validation and she hates needing other people’s opinions. But with Dinah she can’t seem to help herself. 

Dinah’s smile grows at that and it doesn’t fail to make Laurel’s heart race in her chest. “I don’t need you to like the same movies that I like, Laurel.” 

Laurel’s not sure what that means. She’s about to ask, but then Dinah reaches out with one of her hands to cup Laurel’s cheek and pulls her in. Laurel doesn’t know what’s happening until Dinah’s lips are pressed against hers and they’re kissing. They’re kissing. Laurel’s body acts before her mind can catch up and her free hand grasps onto Dinah’s sweatshirt, fingers tangling in the fabric. 

It’s nothing like any of Laurel’s previous first kisses. It’s not careful and it’s not tentative. It feels real and sure, as if this is what Dinah’s been wanting for ages. Laurel doesn’t sense any hesitation as Dinah deepens the kiss, nipping at Laurel’s lips. Laurel melts into her touch, squeezing Dinah’s hand just to have something to hold onto. 

Dinah pulls back, a little out of breath, but there’s still that beautiful smile on her face. Laurel just wants to kiss her again. But she’s in too much of a trance to move. All she can do is close her eyes and take a deep breath, relishing in the feeling of Dinah’s lips on hers. 

“What- Why did you do that?” She whispers after a few seconds, not sure what’s going on. 

Fair, she has an idea. And she really hopes she’s right. Still, she needs to know for sure. 

Dinah chuckles, the hand on Laurel’s cheek now dropping to her waist. She leans against the headboard, looking up at Laurel with teasing eyes and a smile that’s bordering on a smirk. Laurel feels her insides tingle. 

“Because I like you,” Dinah admits softly, “No matter what kind of movies you like.” 

Laurel can’t help but grin back. It’s all the confirmation she needs to lean back in and kiss Dinah again. Because now she’s allowed to. Dinah likes her and she kissed her and Laurel almost feels grateful for her fear of horror movies. 

But then Dinah kicks the laptop away, a thud sounding from where it fell off the bed, and she pulls Laurel on top of her. She lets go of Laurel’s hand to fully grab her waist and hold her in place as she kisses her back, not letting go for a second. Laurel loves it. 

She thinks maybe horror movies aren’t that bad if they result in making out with Dinah on her bed. This might be the best thing that’s happened to her in a while. Dinah’s hands on her waist make her feel things she’s never felt before and all Laurel wants is to be here forever. 

But then there’s a knock on Laurel’s bedroom door, immediately followed by the door opening, and Felicity’s voice. 

“Hey, I just wanted to check if you’re oka-,” She stops talking, Laurel pulling away from Dinah in a flash.

Laurel tries to get off Dinah’s lap, but Dinah’s hands are holding her in place. Dinah keeps her pinned down, not giving Laurel the chance to move. She drops her forehead against Dinah’s collarbone in defeat, a blush rising on her cheeks.

“Yeah, you’re okay.” Felicity mutters. Laurel doesn’t even need to look at her to know she’s grinning. “I apologize. Proceed, love birds.” 

The door closes again and Laurel can hear Felicity’s yell out to their friends on the other side of the door, something about owing her 30 bucks. And Laurel groans. So now everyone’s going to know. And Laurel thinks she’d almost care, but then Dinah’s hand cups her face to make her look at her again and there’s a teasing smile on the brunette’s face. 

“So, where were we, baby?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we hope you liked it! writing college au's is always so much fun and we genuinely had a good time coming up with this one. 
> 
> we'll see you on wednesday for another Avalance chapter! 
> 
> find us on Twitter if you want:  
> Imke (@mrsavalance)  
> Ell (@dinahhdrake)  
> or use the tag #LoveHer100Ways !   
> <3<3


	7. I don't wanna just be here (I wanna make you smile)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava pulls her closer to kiss her cheek, before she says, “You know, you could’ve just asked Gideon to make them for me, babe.”
> 
> “But then they’d have been missing the most important ingredient.” Sara replies, furrowing her eyebrows at her. 
> 
> “And which one would that be?” Ava’s genuinely curious, because looking at the state these cookies are in Sara most likely forgot to put half of the ingredients in.
> 
> “Love.”
> 
> _or_
> 
> it's ava's birthday and sara wants to surprise her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! 
> 
> first of all we want to apologize for being a day late. we had quite a few busy days so we barely had any time to get writing done. we apologize and we'll try to be on time in the future. we hope we can make it up to you with this fluffy Avalance chapter. 
> 
> we think we could all use some fluff after this week's episode. 
> 
> enjoy reading ! <3
> 
> • title is from Where I Belong by Benjamin Taylor

**“I made your favorite.”** \- _Avalance_

It’s Ava’s birthday. Or well, the day Rip decided her birthday would be celebrated when he got the first Ava clone from 2213. And because of that, it is a bit of a weird day. Because is it really your birthday if someone just programmed a birthday in your mind? Ava isn’t sure and because of it she doesn’t like to think about it being her birthday. Let alone celebrate it. She just doesn’t like to be reminded of where she came from. 

Surprisingly, the Legends had all understood when she had first told them about it and had agreed to leave Ava alone on this particular day. Perhaps it was the failed surprise party they threw for her two years ago that was extremely well meant, but went horribly wrong, that made them all back off. Or the fact that Sara had most likely threatened to hurt them if they did anything particular to upset Ava on this day. But one way or another all of them have learned to not celebrate Ava’s birthday with an extravagant party, because they know how sensitive the former Time Bureau Director is to her origin story. 

So, yes, maybe they all know not to celebrate her birthday, but that doesn’t mean the Legends don’t go the extra mile to make sure their friend feels appreciated and special on this day. They are on their best behaviour all day, making sure Ava has nothing to yell at them about and can enjoy a rather relaxing day on the ship for a change. One without Constantine’s and Charlie’s constant bickering or Mick setting something on fire or Nate and Behrad racing scooters in the hallway. Which usually ends with one of them, or both, in the medbay.

Ava pretends she has no clue what they are all doing. But of course she knows exactly what the others are up to. The ship is never this peaceful and quiet. Only once a year, always on the same date. So instead of questioning it, she welcomes the nice change for the day. 

And maybe they don’t celebrate her birthday in the traditional manner with cake and a birthday party, but the Legends each have their own weird version of how to make their new Captain feel extra special.  
The exception to the no-birthday rule is Sara. Or at least, Sara likes to think she is the exception. Because no matter how many times Ava has insisted that she does not want to celebrate her birthday, Sara still wants to do something a little extra special for her lover. To celebrate her not-birthday.

They start the day in bed together, like every morning. Partaking in activities that definitely take Ava’s mind off the fact that it is supposed to be her birthday today. And Sara thanks the Legends and Gideon, who she suspects has more to do with it than the Legends, for blocking out any and all interruptions because they get to spend a whole uninterrupted two hours together, naked in the comfort of each other’s arms. Perhaps that was the AI’s form of a birthday present to her new co-captain. 

If it was, Ava could get used to it.

They are still cuddled up in their bed together, not ready to leave the warmth of their bed, and each other’s bodies just yet. At some point Sara has started rubbing circles on Ava’s upper arm, and if she keeps it up, Ava is scared it will lull her right back to sleep.

“The Legends are awfully quiet today.” Ava mentions, lips brushing against the side of Sara’s head.

Sara’s fingers stop their pattern on her skin and Ava regrets speaking, immediately missing her lover’s touch.

“Yeah, it must be a special day or something.” Sara smirks, pulling away to look Ava in the eye.

There’s still a faint blush on her cheeks from before, her hair sticking to her forehead. She looks beautiful and Ava thinks she could look at Sara for hours if she’d let her. Just to take in every single detail, count every freckle, take in every scar. 

Ava just looks at her, a small smile forming on her lips, “Yeah, I guess so.”

They just look at each other, holding each other’s gaze, and Ava’s mind starts to wander. Maybe she doesn’t mind her birthday as much anymore. Maybe it’s slowly growing on her now that she has an actual family that cares about her. Maybe someday in the future, she could actually feel comfortable with sharing this day with the Legends. She knows Zari will be over the moon if she lets her throw her a surprise party.

Or just being with everyone, eating cake, chatting about the dumbest things. Maybe even dance a little. It doesn’t even have to be a surprise party. Maybe over time Ava will feel comfortable enough to organize a party of her own, to surprise the other Legends. Maybe they’d like that. She sure knows Sara would like it.

“Hey, where did your mind go?” Sara asks softly, squeezing Ava’s arm to get her mind back to the present.

“Oh, uh. Just you. And the Legends.” Ava admits softly, “How lucky I am to have you guys in my life.”

“We’re the lucky ones, Aves.” Sara places a soft kiss on her shoulder, “Speaking of the Legends, I should probably check on them. Make sure no one is burning down the ship. They have been on their own for a whole,” Sara’s eyes wander over to the clock on their nightstand, “2 hours and 16 minutes. God knows what they’ve gotten themselves into in the meantime.”

“Right.” 

Sara regretfully untangles herself from Ava, trying to ignore the way Ava’s hands keep reaching for her, not wanting to let her go. Sara laughs softly as she pins Ava’s hands down, before throwing her a smirk and jumping off the bed.

A soft whine escapes from Ava’s lips as Sara’s warmth leaves with her body, “No. Come back, baby.”

Sara laughs as she sees Ava’s outstretched arms, trying to reach for her again, but she is just out of Ava’s reach.

Sara grabs last night’s jeans from the floor, grabs Ava’s shirt from where it landed on a chair and quickly dresses herself. When she is done pulling the shirt over her head she notices Ava, who is still on their bed looking at her with the most adorable pout she has ever seen. Sara groans.

“Stop that.”

Ava feigns innocence, “Stop what?”

“Oh come on. You know exactly what you’re doing to me.”

“Is it working?” Ava asks with a mischievous smile on her face, leaning up on her elbows so the sheet drops and pools at her waist. Sara gulps at the sight. 

“You know it is.” Sara grunts, “But it’s also already past 9:30 and I know you hate it when we start our day too late.”

“Fair.” Ava responds, voice dropping as she looks Sara up and down. “But maybe I won’t mind today.”

“ _Ava_.” 

“Sara.” 

And just like that, Sara’s resolve breaks and the shirt and jeans find their way back onto the floor. And Sara finds her way back into Ava’s arms.

It’s almost nearing lunch time when Sara and Ava finally emerge from their quarters. Their hands still connected, not ready to break their physical intimacy just yet. Ava thinks she could do this every day. Just spend the morning in bed with Sara and not care about anything else in the world. 

“Captain. Mrs. Captain.” Nate greets them as he runs into them in the hallways when they exit their room.

Ava hadn’t even seen him. He’s smiling at them and there’s something oddly weird about the way he’s carrying himself today. As if he’s on his best behaviour. Ava shouldn’t be surprised by this, really. It’s what happens every year. She just figured, now that she lives with them, they would’ve given up on this. But apparently not.

“Nate.” Ava greets back. Her eyes drop to the A.L.O.H.A. binder he is clutching in his arms and she can’t stop the smile from spreading on her face.

He gives her a wink, before disappearing into the direction of his quarters.

“Did you see that, babe?” Ava asks excitedly, tugging on Sara’s arm as Nate disappears from view. 

Sara raises her eyebrow. “See what?”

“Nate was reading my binder! I knew he’d come around.” 

Sara can’t help but smile as she sees Ava’s happiness radiating off her face. 

When Sara and Ava enter the bridge a moment later they find Behrad there. They greet him, but don't get a reaction from him, which is odd. Normally he’s always the first one to say hello.

“Behrad?” Ava tries again, raising her voice.

He finally looks up from his phone to look at her. His eyes widen, before he taps his phone screen and a wide smile appears on his face. 

“Ava, hi! Hey, Sara!” He takes out his earbuds, so he can give them his full attention, “So sorry, I didn’t hear you before. I was just too engrossed in this episode of Stabcast to hear you guys enter.”

Ava’s eyes find the lit up screen of Behrad’s phone and she notices that he was indeed listening to her podcast. It makes her heart smile. She has been trying for weeks to get them all to listen to her podcast, so she is immensely excited to hear Behrad finally got around to it and that he loves it.

“I’m on episode eight and I must say that I have a lot of feelings about this one.”

“Oh?” Ava asks, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Do tell?” 

“See, I just think it’s interesting that-”

Sara zones out as they start a heated discussion about episode 8's serial killer. Meanwhile she sees it as the perfect opportunity to excuse herself and quietly leaves the room.

On her way to the kitchen Sara runs into Zari and she immediately sees an opportunity. She asks Zari to keep Ava busy for at least half an hour and she’s grateful when Zari doesn’t ask too many questions. She goes on her way to find Ava, to probably find her still discussing her podcast with Behrad, leaving Sara to finally do what she’s been planning to do all day. 

“Gideon, can you get everything ready for me, please?” 

“Of course, Captain,” 

Sara gets to the kitchen only a minute later, but she’s glad to see that Gideon has put all the ingredients in the fabricator. Sara quickly gathers them and puts them on the counter before grabbing a recipe book from one of the cabinets.  
She tries her best to follow the recipe. Honestly, she’s never been a great cook and baking has always been more of Laurel’s thing, but she really needs this to work out. 

It’s a mess. Soon the counters are buried under a mountain of flour, eggs are cracked from falling on the floor and Sara’s sure she’s got some of it in her hair. Mixing the dough proves to be one of the easier parts, though. It’s getting the right shape for the cookies that’s difficult. Also figuring out exactly how much cinnamon to use isn’t Sara’s strong suit. 

She just hopes Ava will like them.

Sara thinks she’s doing a pretty good job. The dough smells great and according to the recipe she’s right on track. As Sara turns on the oven and reaches for the baking tray she suddenly feels the overwhelming need to make sure this is perfect for Ava. Just to make her smile and to make her feel a little bit better today. 

She knows how hard today is for Ava. The first not-birthday they spent together Ava didn’t even want to leave the bed, let alone their room. She barely talked to Sara, wouldn’t tell her why it bothered her so much. Only when the day was as good as over and they were cuddling together under the covers did she open up. 

Ever since then Sara keeps trying her best, every not-birthday, to make her happy. To make her forget what’s been making her feel bad over the years.  
So, yes, Sara knows she’s not a kitchen princess, and Ava knows it too, but if this will make Ava smile then at least it’ll be worth it. She would do anything to make things better for Ava. To remind her that she’s loved and appreciated and needed. 

She finishes off putting the dough on the tray with a gentle smile on her face. She realizes that the cookies might not turn out perfect, but she thinks Ava will appreciate them nonetheless. She just hopes she doesn’t burn them.

It’s about 15 minutes later, just as Sara slides the tray of cookies out of the oven and onto the counter she has just wiped down, that she hears familiar footsteps behind her. A smile subconsciously forms on Sara’s face as she waits, taking off her oven mitts and turning off the oven. 

“There you are,” 

Sara spins around when she hears Ava’s voice, soft and relieved. She smiles at Ava and waits for her to come closer. Never once breaking eye contact. 

“I was looking all over for you,” Ava mutters as she wraps her arms around Sara’s waist. “Zari wouldn’t stop bugging me.” 

Sara laughs at that, melting into her girlfriend’s touch. “I’m sorry. I may have asked her to keep you busy.” 

Ava frowns. “What? Why?” 

“Because _I_ was busy.” Sara admits, a teasing glint in her eyes. Ava narrows her eyes at her.

“What were you doing?” She asks, hands tightening around Sara’s waist. 

“Nothing major,” Sara says, “Just baking.” 

Ava looks so confused that it’s almost funny. Sara can’t help but lean in and kiss her quickly, if only to annoy her just that bit more. Ava just groans when Sara pulls back, chasing after her to kiss her again. 

“ _Baby_ ,” she whines, “What were you doing?”

“Like I said, I was baking.” Sara responds, rolling her eyes good-heartedly, “I made your favorite.”

She points to the tray on the counter, looking as proud as she can be. Fair, it doesn’t look perfect, but Sara did everything right according to the recipe so they should taste fine. She just hopes Ava won’t mind that they look a bit… off. 

“My favorite _what_ , exactly?” Ava asks carefully, unwrapping her arms from around Sara’s body to take a closer look.

“Snicker...doodles?” 

Sara sounds unsure and it makes Ava chuckle. She turns back towards Sara with a teasing smile and Sara already knows she’s done for. Ava’s never going to let her live this down.

“Oh. So _that’s_ what they are.” Ava teases, grabbing Sara’s hand as she turns towards her again. 

A sad pout forms on Sara’s lips, and Ava looks like she almost regrets laughing. Sara can admit that they don’t look great, though, and she has to try her best to not laugh at them herself.This is why she doesn’t bake or cook. But then Ava pulls her closer and they’re touching again and Sara doesn’t really mind that Ava was laughing at her anymore.

“I- No, I’m sorry,” Ava says, still a hint of laughter in her voice. “Thank you, babe. They look great.”

“They look awful.” Sara admits in defeat, “”I didn’t know baking was this hard.” 

They both laugh after that. Sara just can’t believe it; a badass reformed assassin defeated by some homemade cookies she tried to bake for the woman she loves. Ava never thought she’d see the day. But here they are.

Ava pulls her closer to kiss her cheek, before she says, “You know, you could’ve just asked Gideon to make them for me, babe.”

“But then they’d have been missing the most important ingredient.” Sara replies, furrowing her eyebrows at her. 

“And which one would that be?” Ava’s genuinely curious, because looking at the state these cookies are in Sara most likely forgot to put half of the ingredients in.

“Love.” 

Ava grins, obviously teasing her girlfriend when she speaks, “Are you saying Gideon doesn’t love me?”

“I am an AI, Captain Sharpe. I am incapable of love. I like you at best.” 

Ava lets out a laugh after that, “Touché, Gideon. Touché.”

Ava turns towards Sara again, the teasing smile from earlier now turning into something softer as she looks at her. As if she can’t believe that Sara’s real. She looks at Sara as if she’s the luckiest person on the planet.

“Are you not gonna try them?” Sara asks after a while, her voice sounding a bit sad.

“What? No, of course I’m gonna try them!” Ava quickly replies, eyes widening.

Okay, so maybe, when she’d first seen those snickerdoodles, trying them was the last thing on her mind. But Sara did go out of her way to make them for her and Ava would feel bad for not trying one of them at least. She can put on a brave face and tell her girlfriend she did a good job.

So she unwraps one of her arms from around Sara to reach out to the tray and take one of the unidentifiable cookies. Ava’s not even sure if they deserve to be called cookies with how they look, but she doesn’t have to say that out loud. If only to spare Sara.

Two big hopeful blue eyes are looking at her as Ava takes a small bite, “And? And? What do you think?”

And it’s definitely not what Ava was expecting. It’s like an explosion of flavours goes off in Ava’s mouth, because this is the best thing she has ever tasted. It’s the perfect combination of all ingredients combined. And not even Ava’s fake-mother was able to make them taste like this. If Ava had to describe what Heaven tastes like, she’d be positive this was it.

“Babe, these are amazing!” Ava says in disbelief, before taking another bite.

And Sara’s whole face lights up at that. She’s glad that even though the snickerdoodles look absolutely hideous, at least they taste great. And even if it only made Ava feel a little better about her not-birthday, it was totally worth it.

“It was the secret ingredient.” Sara beams proudly, wiping some crumbs off the corner of Ava’s mouth with her thumb, “Love.”

“You’re something else,” Ava says as she finishes the snickerdoodle. 

Sara watches as she licks her lips and it makes her want to kiss her. So she does. She tastes the cookie on Ava’s lips and she absolutely loves it. Ava melts into the kiss, holding onto Sara tightly. 

“What do you say we go celebrate some more in our room, Captain Sharpe?” Sara whispers against her lips.

And Ava finds that for the first time in years she might not mind celebrating her birthday a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we hope you liked it! feel free to leave a kudo/comment with your thoughts. we love to read them. 
> 
> find us on Twitter:  
> Imke (@mrsavalance)  
> Ell (@dinahhdrake)  
> or use the tag #LoveHer100Ways ! 
> 
> see you on sunday <3


	8. in case you didn't know (I'm crazy about you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth is that she’s got nothing she can do. It’s Laurel’s second date with Nyssa, meaning they’re hitting it off and it’s becoming a thing. Laurel talks about her sometimes, too. How much fun they have, how Nyssa is so easy to talk to. Dinah never really engages in the conversation. Just listens and smiles, tries to be happy for her friend. But it’s hard. Harder than she’d like to admit.
> 
> _or_
> 
> laurel has a date and dinah hates it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS DINAHSIREN DAY !!! 
> 
> we're here to hit you with some jealous!Dinah and some fluff! enjoy the pining, hehe. 
> 
> again, thank you so much for the comments and the kudos, they really put a smile on our faces and they encourage us to keep this up. it's so nice to know that people genuinely look forward to reading our work. we've been loving writing these and getting into these characters head's and every single week it's getting more fun, because we're having all these different types of AU's planned. it's going to be great! 
> 
> have fun reading, folks <3
> 
> • title from In Case You Didn't Know by Brett Young.

**"Have fun."** \- _Dinahsiren_

“How do I look?” Laurel asks, twirling around in front of Dinah. 

Dinah feels her breath hitch in her throat as she looks at her, taking in her outfit and her hair and just… everything. Dinah stares for a beat too long, but Laurel doesn’t seem to notice. 

“You look great,” Dinah manages to get out, feeling like her throat is closing in, like she’s barely able to breathe. “She’s very lucky.”

And Laurel does look great. She’s wearing a casual jumpsuit with a nice blazer on top and her matching heels. Her hair’s slicked back a little and her makeup is flawlessly beautiful too. If Dinah had the guts she would admit that Laurel looks perfect. Breathtaking even. But Dinah can’t say that out loud. She doesn’t even think she’d be able to get the words over her lips if she wanted to. Especially not with Laurel smiling at her like that. 

“Thanks, D.” Laurel smiles as she goes to grab her purse. 

Dinah just shrugs lamely, not knowing how to reply to that. _Sure, no problem. Glad I could help you get ready for this date I don’t want you to go on_? That’s probably not the best thing to say. So she shrugs and smiles and watches as Laurel finishes getting ready. 

“You don’t have to wait up for me, okay? I’ll tell you everything in the morning.” 

And it’s like a knife has been punctured through Dinah’s heart. Because _don’t wait up for me_ sure sounds a lot like Laurel isn’t really planning on coming home at all. 

“Okay,” Dinah says, having trouble meeting Laurel’s gaze. 

She hates the thought of Laurel going on this date. It makes her feel nauseous, like her world is going to flip upside down if she thinks about it too much. 

She knows why the thought of Laurel going on a date with someone else bothers her so much. She’d be dumb not to realize. It’s just that she can’t do anything about it. Clearly, since Laurel is going on a date. With someone else.  
And, honestly, for a while Dinah thought that maybe they could have been something. Sometimes it feels like Laurel might feel the same way, that she might have feelings for Dinah as well. But then for some reason Laurel shuts herself off completely and it’s like nothing ever happened. Like Dinah must have imagined it all in her head. 

So when Laurel told her that she had a date, Dinah couldn’t do anything but accept defeat. 

Laurel throws her another glance as she reaches their front door and Dinah forces herself to not break eye contact. She can’t let Laurel know that something is bothering her- that this is bothering her. So when Laurel smiles at her before turning around, Dinah clears her throat and speaks up. 

“Hey, Laurel?” 

Laurel pauses and looks at Dinah over her shoulder, her hand resting on the doorknob. She doesn’t say anything, but she almost looks like she’s expecting something. Dinah thinks she’s probably imagining it. 

“Have fun.” 

It takes everything in Dinah to say those words and mean them. And she hates the way her voice seems to crack when she does. But she finds that she does mean them in the end. She really wants Laurel to have a good time and she wants Laurel to be happy. She’d be incredibly selfish to not grant Laurel this, to not let her be happy. 

Because there’s two options. Either she tells Laurel how she feels, or she doesn’t. 

And Dinah really doesn’t know which option she’d prefer. 

But it all seems worth it in the end, because Laurel smiles at her and there’s something softer in it than usual. “Thanks, D. Don’t stay up too late.” 

And just like that she’s out the door. 

Dinah watches her go, her eyes glued on the closed door even long after Laurel has disappeared through it. She just can’t seem to tear her gaze away.

It’s weird, really. Everything about their relationship is all kinds of fucked up. They didn’t even like each other in the beginning. Dinah still remembers when they met, back in high school. She couldn’t stand Laurel. Everything about her annoyed her and they were bickering constantly, up until the point where their friends had to literally seperate them. 

They fought sometimes, too. With words, mostly. It wasn’t very nice. 

It only got better after Laurel’s father died. Something in her seemed to change, as if she was suddenly a completely different person. She stopped trying to provoke Dinah. She stopped bickering. She stopped talking back. It’s like she did a full 180.  
Dinah was a bit skeptical at first. She wasn’t sure what to believe of it. But they grew very close shortly after that, as if they were inseparable. Dinah helped Laurel cope with the loss of her father, and in her turn Laurel had helped Dinah come to terms with her sexuality. Over time Dinah found that Laurel truly had become her best friend. And vice versa. 

When they found out that they were going to the same college they decided to find an apartment together and now here they are. 

And as the months went by, Dinah’s feelings for her best friend only intensified. Feelings she doesn’t know what to do with, especially now that Laurel is going out on a second date with Nyssa. The occasional first date Dinah could deal with, especially because Laurel would always come home to her, complaining about what was wrong with her date. Why it wouldn’t work out, or why she needed to end things before they even began. But that’s not what happened last week when Laurel came home from her date with Nyssa. And now they are going out for the second time together and Dinah’s slowly going insane. 

The thought of Laurel with anyone else still cuts her like a knife, but Dinah also knows that Nyssa might actually be the one to make Laurel happy and if that’s the case then all Dinah can do is just accept it and be happy for her. 

She feels like a mess, honestly. Because she wants Laurel to be happy, but she also wants to be the person that is the reason for Laurel’s happiness. She likes Nyssa, respects her even, but it doesn’t stop her from feeling this way. This _jealous_. She envies that Nyssa had the guts to ask Laurel out almost immediately, when she herself has been wanting to do the same thing for years.

In the four years that she’s known Laurel she hasn’t been able to have any kind of lasting relationship with anyone. She tried to date this guy back in senior year of high school, Vinnie, but that didn’t work out after he ended up cheating on her. And ever since then, ever since she realized that she was falling in love with Laurel, she hasn’t been able to be with anyone for more than one night. 

It’s a bit pathetic, really. 

Realizing she’s still sitting in the same spot as when Laurel left and definitely half an hour has gone by, Dinah blinks rapidly to free herself from her thoughts. She needs to stop thinking about it so much, it’ll only make it worse. 

Deciding to not mope tonight, Dinah makes her way over to the kitchen to grab herself a drink. She opts for some wine and pours herself a generous glass before grabbing some chips out of the cabinet and walking back towards the couch, bottle in hand. 

Maybe she can watch something dumb on Netflix to get her mind off things. 

After scrolling through the movies for ten minutes, she just decides to go for something she’s already seen a hundred times. This way she doesn’t _have_ to pay attention, but it’s fun enough to keep her mind off of Laurel and Nyssa. For now at least.

So Dinah sips her wine, eats her chips and watches her movie. It works for a little while, and Dinah’s actually enjoying herself, but after the first 10 minutes of the movie her mind keeps wandering back to Laurel. It’s all she can think about and she hates it. Feelings suck. Because, really, she’s fine most days. She’s good to just hang out with Laurel and pretend they’re just friends. She can manage to act like what she feels isn’t more than friendship. She has done it for years.

But whenever Laurel shows interest in someone else, Dinah can’t help her mind from spiraling. Because it should be her, you know? She wants to be the one to make Laurel smile and she wants to be the one to hold Laurel’s hand. If only she wasn’t such a coward, maybe she could. 

It’s not like she hasn’t thought about Laurel liking her back. She has caught Laurel staring at her before, when she thought she wasn’t looking. There’s a possibility. But just as Dinah is scared that Laurel won’t feel the same way, a part of her is perhaps even more scared that Laurel _will_ feel the same way and she will do or say something to mess it all up and ruin their entire friendship in the process. 

It’s all so very confusing. 

The worst part about Laurel dating Nyssa is that Dinah knows who she is. She knows that Nyssa is a nice girl. She's a badass and you really shouldn’t mess with her, but she has a good heart and Dinah is sure she could make Laurel happy. They match really well. 

Dinah hates the fact that she doesn’t hate Nyssa. 

Looking back at the screen in front of her, Dinah realizes she hasn’t watched a single scene of the movie playing, besides the first 10 minutes. She sighs and reaches for the remote, before turning the tv off. It’s no use letting it play if all she’s going to do is suffer in silence anyway. 

She stares at the black screen as if it holds the answers she is so desperately seeking for, as if it’s going to tell her what to do. 

The truth is that she’s got nothing she can do. It’s Laurel’s second date with Nyssa, meaning they’re hitting it off and it’s becoming a thing. Laurel talks about her sometimes, too. How much fun they have, how Nyssa is so easy to talk to. Dinah never really engages in the conversation. Just listens and smiles, tries to be happy for her friend. But it’s hard. Harder than she’d like to admit.

So when Laurel gets home later tonight - if she’ll even come home at all - and wants to tell Dinah everything about her date, she’ll sit here and listen and be happy for her friend. 

It’s all she can think of doing. 

She doesn’t want to be the person to wreck a relationship. She knows from experience what that feels like and she wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. She can’t find it in herself to confess her feelings to Laurel now and possibly ruin what she has with Nyssa. She’s not that kind of person. She wouldn’t put Laurel in that position. 

So she doesn’t do anything. 

Her glass of wine is bordering on empty, so Dinah reaches for the bottle to get a refill. She’s not planning on getting drunk. Maybe just tipsy enough to numb the pain a little bit. She’s not sure, really. She just wants to feel something different than the longing and the jealousy that’s plaguing her. 

Dinah reaches for her phone, checking if she’s got any messages. Okay, so maybe she secretly hopes that Laurel would’ve texted her, even if she wouldn’t have any reason to. When Dinah’s notifications come up blank she sighs. 

She feels so stupid. 

Pining over a girl that will never give her the time of day. They’re friends and that’s it. Dinah will just have to learn how to live with that if she wants to keep Laurel in her life. 

Because Dinah figures that not having Laurel in her life would be way worse than this. She’d rather hurt every day looking at Laurel with someone else, than not be her friend at all. Dinah can’t imagine not being around Laurel. She can’t imagine not knowing Laurel and not talking to her about what’s going on in her life. Their friendship is so much more important than these feelings.

Putting her glass on the coffee table in front of her, next to her phone, Dinah sighs. As she looks around the living room, her eyes fall on Laurel’s hoodie that’s thrown over the armrest of the couch. Dinah reaches for it before thinking better of it. She pulls it over her head in one swift movement, enjoying the way it fits. Her hands fist inside the sleeves. 

Laurel always buys her hoodies too big. Dinah loves it.

She grabs her phone and sinks back into the couch, letting the pillows swallow her body. She hates being home alone. It’s too quiet and too boring and she just always ends up missing Laurel. 

Glancing at the time on her phone screen, Dinah realizes Laurel’s been gone for a little over two hours now. It’s almost 10 PM and Dinah is tempted to go to sleep. Especially if Laurel’s really not gonna be returning home tonight. But then she thinks about Laurel’s happy face if she _is_ going to come home tonight and Dinah thinks she’ll just suffer a bit longer to get to see her that happy again. 

She leans her head against the armrest and stares at her phone screen again, hoping for a notification to pop up. But nothing comes. 

It’s just when she’s about to turn the tv back on that Dinah hears keys in the front door and then the creaking of the door opening. Dinah leans up on her arm to look at the front door, a frown on her face. She wasn’t expecting anyone else, but she’s still surprised to see Laurel walk through the door. 

“Hey,” she says, throwing her purse on the rack next to the door, before taking off her blazer and putting it on a chair at the dining table.

Dinah just stares at her. She’s not sure what to say. Laurel being home this early can mean plenty of things. 

For a moment she expected Nyssa to follow Laurel into the apartment. Maybe they had decided to continue their date here, in Laurel’s bedroom. But the front door stays closed. Nyssa nowhere in sight.

“What?” Laurel asks as she looks at Dinah, who’s still just staring at her. 

Dinah shakes herself out of it, “You’re home early.” 

Laurel looks a bit uneasy at the observation, but she recovers quickly. “Yeah, I guess.” 

Dinah doesn’t know why, but the atmosphere is awkward and she hates it. She also hates the way that Laurel is hesitating in the middle of the room, as if she doesn’t know what to do or where to sit. Dinah’s wondering what’s on her mind. 

“Did you have fun?” Dinah asks, desperate to just have things be normal. 

Laurel looks up then, a small smile on her face. Ah, there we go. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Laurel replies, taking a few steps closer until she can sit down on the armrest across from Dinah. 

Dinah sits up, pulling her knees to her chest so Laurel can sit on the other end of the couch, which she does. She sinks down onto the cushion and lets out a sigh, her head falling back onto the back of the couch. 

“You guess?” Dinah asks.

She’s confused. The last time Laurel came back from a date with Nyssa she was over the moon happy. This doesn’t make any sense. Dinah hates the feeling of hope she can feel in the pit of her stomach. It makes her want to vomit. 

“Yeah, I just,” Laurel sighs again, running a hand through her hair, “Do you ever genuinely like somebody, or you think you could, but something is just missing?” 

Dinah swallows heavily, not sure she likes where this conversation is headed, “I think I might kinda get that, yes.” 

Laurel turns her head to look at her and Dinah’s surprised to see how vulnerable Laurel looks. The longer this conversation lasts, the more confused Dinah gets. She hates it. But on the other hand she’s too afraid to ask Laurel what’s on her mind head-on, so she just sits there and waits. 

“How was your night?” Laurel asks, obviously changing the subject.

Dinah shrugs, “Boring. I was just about to go to bed.”

It’s a lie and she knows Laurel knows, too. Because Laurel throws a look at Dinah’s, still full, glass of wine and raises an eyebrow at her. Dinah knows she doesn’t believe her. Laurel has always been great at reading her. 

“Were you really?” She asks, her voice just on the edge of teasing. 

But then Dinah looks at her and her eyes don’t match the sound of her voice at all. It’s almost like she was genuinely asking, just hiding behind one of her many, many walls. Dinah chuckles softly, shaking her head. 

“I don’t know. I was bored and my mind just kept going places,” Dinah mutters, before repeating, “I don’t know.” 

“Okay,” 

Dinah doesn’t know what happened in the two hours Laurel was gone. She left being so confident and just radiating all this badass energy, but ever since coming back Dinah feels like Laurel is a totally different person. Like something shifted. Again. 

They sit in silence for a while and it’s making Dinah nervous. She’s probably imagining things worse as what they actually are, but she can’t help it. She reaches for her glass of wine and carefully takes a few sips. She laughs softly when there’s a hand coming into view, patiently waiting. 

Dinah hands Laurel the glass and shivers when their fingers brush. 

“So, Nyssa?” Dinah asks, even though it hurts. 

The name burns on her tongue and she has to try her hardest to not let it show. Laurel looks at her for a second too long, as if she’s trying to read her mind, but then she shrugs lamely and shakes her head. 

“Yeah, no.” She says, sipping Dinah’s wine, “It was fine, I guess. I had fun.” 

“But?” 

Dinah’s not sure what compels her to ask, but she’s said the word before she could stop herself. Her heart is beating rapidly in her chest and she can’t help but hope. She knows she shouldn’t, she knows it’s farfetched, but she can’t help herself. 

“I broke things off. I had fun,” Laurel repeats softly, her hands wrapped around the wine glass in her lap, not looking at Dinah in the slightest, “but not as much fun as I have with you.” 

_Oh_. 

See, that’s an answer Dinah wasn’t expecting. She’s also not sure what it means, but she thinks she wants to find out. Dinah feels like she _needs_ to find out. So she scoots closer towards Laurel and takes the wine glass from her hands. 

This gets Laurel to look at her. Dinah can see her glance between her eyes and their hands both holding onto the wine glass. Laurel’s hand feels soft under her own and Dinah tries her hardest to not just hold it. Instead she carefully takes the glass from Laurel and puts it back on the table. 

She can feel Laurel looking at her and for a second she’s scared to look back, but then Dinah turns her head to look at her and she feels like the wind gets knocked out of her. Laurel looks so fragile, so small. Dinah doesn’t know what to do. 

“Can I ask you something?” Laurel asks, her gaze dropping to Dinah’s hands that are still resting awfully close to her own. 

“Of course,” 

Laurel takes a deep breath, her fingers toying with one of her many rings on her hands. Dinah just wants to grab them and hold them and kiss them and-

“Why didn’t you stop me?” 

Dinah frowns at that. “Stop you?” 

Laurel shifts on the couch, seemingly getting a bit more confident. “Why didn’t you stop me from going on that date?” 

And, wait. What? Laurel had wanted her to stop her? From going on a date? Dinah doesn’t know what to think. The confusion must be visible on Dinah’s face, because Laurel quickly backtracks, holding up her hands and shaking her head. 

“Never mind. Forget I said anything, please.” 

She goes to stand up from the couch and Dinah is too stunned to stop her. What is happening? Dinah didn’t even realize that this was a thing. That this was a conversation they were supposed to have. She doesn’t know what to do. It’s only when Laurel is about to walk away from the couch that Dinah manages to find her voice again. 

“I didn’t realize that you’d want me to.” 

Laurel pauses and turns around, gaze immediately finding Dinah’s. “Me neither, really. Until I walked out that door tonight.” 

“Oh.” 

“I know,” Laurel mutters, taking a small step back. “It’s stupid. I don’t know what I was thinking. It’s just that whenever I mention Nyssa, or literally any other date, you get all weird and you get that crinkle on your forehead. And it’s _cute_ , but it confuses me, because then you tell me to go for it, but the next minute you seem almost jealous and I-”

“I’m _not_ jealous.” 

Laurel stops talking then and just looks at her. It almost feels like a staredown. Dinah’s hands are clammy and the longer Laurel looks at her the more she feels like she’s about to jump out of her skin. It’s only then that she realizes that Laurel called her cute. She’s just so confused. 

But then Laurel’s lips tug up into a small smile, almost sad, and Dinah can feel her heart breaking at the sight. She just wants to make things better. She doesn’t want things to fall apart. If Laurel realizes Dinah has feelings for her things might just spin out of control. 

“Is it bad if I was hoping you were?” Laurel asks, then. 

“What?” 

Laurel takes another step back, her shoulders sagging. Dinah hates the distance between them. She feels like it’s about to go terribly wrong if she doesn’t say something soon, if she doesn’t try to mend things somehow. Even if she doesn’t know what should be mended in the first place. 

“I just- I was hoping that you might-” Laurel sighs, her head dropping in defeat, “Never mind.” 

Dinah doesn’t know what to do, because she wants Laurel to say what’s on her mind, but on the other hand she’s not sure if she’s ready to hear it. She only manages to do something when Laurel takes another step back and talks again. 

“Goodnight, D.” 

Laurel manages to take one step away from Dinah before the latter reaches up and grabs Laurel’s wrist. She needs to know. 

“You thought that I...?”

Her position is awkward, because she’s got one foot on the floor and her other leg still tucked beneath her, her one hand around Laurel’s wrist while the other is holding her up on the couch. Laurel looks at her and it hits Dinah like a ton of bricks. 

Laurel had wanted her to stop her from going on that date because she likes her. And she thought that Dinah liked her back. And Dinah has been doing a pretty awful job at reassuring Laurel that she indeed _does_ have feelings for her. 

“Laurel,” Dinah says, voice barely louder than a whisper. 

“It’s okay,” Laurel says, stubbornly shaking her head. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

“No, no,” Dinah says, pushing herself up from the couch so she’s eye level with Laurel. “Don’t say that.” 

“I just ruined everything.” 

Dinah’s heart cracks and she slowly lets go of Laurel’s wrist to tangle their hands together. Their hands fit together perfectly and Dinah needs a moment to look at them, to look at how their fingers lock together and it just _works_. 

When she looks back up she finds Laurel looking at her, eyes big and hopeful and soft. 

“You didn’t ruin anything.” Dinah says softly, squeezing Laurel’s hand. “Quite the opposite.” 

“No?” 

Dinah smiles at her, her free hand coming up to tuck a strand of hair that’s gotten loose back behind Laurel’s ear. “No. I felt like I would’ve ruined something if I stopped you from going out.” 

Her hand lingers on Laurel’s cheek. Her skin is so soft, Dinah doesn’t want to pull away. But she does. She lets her hand drop at her side and she hates that she already misses the feeling of touching Laurel. 

“I didn’t realize I wanted you to stop me until I was already halfway down the stairs.” Laurel says softly, her gaze dropping to their hands dangling between their bodies, “and then I kept thinking about what it meant and if I’d felt like this before.”

“And have you? Felt like this before?” 

Laurel looks back up then. There’s a fire in her eyes that wasn’t there before and it sets Dinah’s skin on fire. The nerves she was previously feeling no longer seem to be present and she loves the feeling of being this close to Laurel. Especially now that they’re having this conversation. Finally. 

Then there’s a hand on Dinah’s cheek and Dinah closes her eyes almost on impact, “Only every single time.”

“And what does it mean?” Dinah asks, eyes still closed. 

She can feel Laurel’s breath on her face, can feel her hand burning into her skin. She tightens her grip on Laurel’s hand as she shuffles closer, their bodies now nearly touching. Dinah can feel the tension coming off Laurel’s body and it’s almost liberating.

“It means that I wanted you to be jealous,” Laurel whispers, so incredibly close, “It means that I didn’t really want to see other people. Just you. Always you.”

And Dinah breaks. 

She pulls Laurel in by her waist and presses their lips together. Laurel’s hand slips from her cheek to the back of her neck, holding her in place as she kisses her back. Their hands are still pressed together tightly between them, but soon Dinah pulls her hand free so she can tangle it in Laurel’s hair. 

“So maybe I _was_ jealous.” Dinah admits, pulling back to look at Laurel, both of them now slightly out of breath. 

“I hoped so.” 

“You’re evil.” 

Laurel chuckles, “I know. But you like me.” 

And Dinah can’t help but lean into her again, to kiss her again. “Yes, I do. Very much, actually.” 

Laurel kisses her back. It’s soft and careful and almost as if she’s afraid Dinah is going to change her mind and run. But she won’t. She’s been wanting this for way too long. So Dinah wraps both her arms around Laurel’s waist and pulls her with her as she sits down on the couch, Laurel landing firmly on her lap. 

Laurel’s hands find the hoodie Dinah is wearing and the smile that forms on her face is everything Dinah could’ve ever wished for. It’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. 

“You’re wearing my hoodie.” 

Dinah feels herself blush. “I am. Is that okay?” 

Laurel fists her hands into the fabric and tugs Dinah closer to kiss her. Dinah can feel her smile against her lips and it’s making her heart swell in her chest. 

“It’s perfect,” Laurel whispers against her lips, “You’re perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we hope you liked it! 
> 
> feel free to leave a kudo/comment, as usual and to come talk to us on Twitter:  
> Imke @mrsavalance  
> Ell @dinahhdrake  
> or use the tag #LoveHer100Ways ! 
> 
> see you on wednesday <3


End file.
